The Better Part of Me

two

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"Would you like to take a break, Charlie?"

"N-no, why?"

"You seem upset."

I didn't realize it, but I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I lifted my hands and wiped my face and my now smeared mascara with a tissue that Dr. Lee placed in front of me.

"Thank you, but I don't want to stop, I can keep going."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay, tell me why you started crying."

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REGRET

Feel sad, repentant, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity.

It was that day that I ever regretted letting her walk out the door. I could've said anything, anything to make her turn back around, but then again, I didn't know who I was back then. I was naive and didn't want to accept the truth and in the end, it came back to bite me in the ass.

Aliana left the room and in a hurry, I put on the ring my father gave me, grabbed my phone and my keys and quickly ran down the stairs. Avoiding any confrontation from my mother, I opened the front door and locked it behind me. As soon as I had gone outside the chilly summer night hit my arms and immediately created goosebumps in its wake. I couldn't go back in since I knew I would come face to face with the she-devil so I settled for the warmth of my hands and sped walked to Aliana's white Range Rover.

I opened the passenger door and climbed into the car. Aliana was already inside and she used the mirror on the visor to check her hair and lipstick before closing it and backing out of the driveway. An uncomfortable silence had fallen around us and it was getting hard to breathe.

"Listen..."

"N-no."

That's it. That was our conversation on the way over to the college party. It was simple, don't mention it.

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"God I can't believe how dumb I was, I should've...I should've talked about it with her. But no, instead I decided that we weren't going to mention it. I look back now and I see how blind I was and how determined I was to believe that I didn't want her. I-I don't know if that makes sense."

"Well, Charlie, it doesn't have to make sense. As long as you understand your mistakes now and fix them, that's all that matters. What you should be proud of is the fact that you can establish and admit your mistakes, it shows that you're improving and that's progress."

"Dr. Lee I hope you're right because frankly, it doesn't feel like I've achieved anything."

"It's all a process and since you're going through it you cant feel it working, but I see your improvement. How did you feel around her?"

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My eyes flickered from out the window to my hands laying in my lap, I was nervous. Would it affect our relationship? Was that the end of our eleven-year friendship? I shook the thoughts away when the car had come to a stop. I looked around and hadn't noticed that Aliana had parked down the street of the party. I unbuckled my seatbelt and slid out of the car. As soon as I slammed the door shut, music could be heard from where we stood.