Lost Girl - Captain Swan

TWO -

When did I become so numb ?

When did i lose myself ?

Where are my feelings ?

I no longer feel things.

Where is the real me ?

Im lost and it kills me.

Im reminded constantly. Not by people, but my mind. I tend to over think a lot. Its not that I want to, it just happens.

Its like my mind wants to constantly mock me. But its okay, im use to it. I don't really get phased by it anymore. Its happened so many times that I forgot how it felt.

My life was always shitty to be honest. But I rather be living the life before I was put in this hell hole.

Of course I regret the things I did when I was with Neal. Like stealing goodies  from the market, while pretending I was pregnant.

Whenever I was with him I felt whole. For once I felt like I was apart of something, apart of someone. And I wasn't alone.

But of course I had to fall for his stupid spell; falling in love.

Love was the worst thing. It meant weakness, and walls breaking down.

I will admit at one point I did believe in true love. But after what happened with Neal. I doubt there is such a thing.

I was always alone before Neal came along.

I would be running the streets. Looking for things that might be useful.

It was like that for years. Running the streets was nothing new to me. It started when I was just a kid.

I went from foster home to foster home. Always thinking no one would want me. That no one would love me.

I ran away from a couple foster homes only because couldn't bare the place or the people. I knew I was better off alone.

And maybe just maybe there was a spark of hope that years from now it will be better.

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Another short chapter but I promise the rest will be a bit longer because we are finally getting into the story. Btw Listen to Paralyzed by NF this song goes with the chapter.