Chapter 20

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(Smut smut smutty smut smut (; )

Louis' POV



I can't believe I've missed so much of my boys' lives. They're so grown up and I've done nothing to involve in that. Zayn has done such an amazing job. I can't believe I've missed two years. How the fuck was I sleeping for two fucking years? Wow I didn't even know that was possible. I thought if you were sleeping for a year they would pull the plug and you'd die. Thank fuck that didn't happen.

I slipped off my shirt and looked at my pale body in the mirror. There were four slightly rectangular marks on my chest and I traced over them with a frown. I looked further down and traced over the scar on my stomach. Wow my body looks disgusting. Bloody scarred and fucked up. Looks like no more shirtless hot days. No more sexual activity. No more showers with a love. Fucking shit why. My chest is completely fucked up now.

"Lou?" I jumped as Zayn opened the door and turned my back to him.

"No! Don't come in!"

"Lou what's wrong?" I could hear him stepping closer and grabbed my shirt again quickly, covering my chest. "Lou?" I turned to face him and he frowned.

"I-I need t-to shower".

"Louis what's wrong".

"Dada you come play with me?" I looked down and Niall and took my bottom lip between my teeth as my eyes watered.

"Niall, why don't you go and see what Harry's doing and dad will be there soon?"

"Okay daddy!" My eyes watered even more as Niall referred to Zayn as another parental figure.

"Oh Lou". I was engulfed in a hug and began sobbing on Zayn's shoulder. I can't believe I've missed so much of the boys growing up. Niall even sounds different. Liam's voice is so much deeper and Harry looks so grown up. I've missed so so much. "Shh it'll be okay".

"T-thank you for looking after the b-b-boys". He pulled the tshirt from my hands and I quickly moved my arms to cover my chest. He frowned.

"What are you doing?" He tried to pull my hands away but I fought him.

"No Zayn please". I looked down to avoid eye contact. "I'm disgusting. I have gross scars all over my chest and I don't want anyone to see".

"Lou..Lou look at me". I hesitated but slowly met his eyes. "Your body is beautiful. I love everything about you. I don't give a shit about your scars. To me they're just there to show how strong you are. You fucking got shot, died twice and look at you now! They're just a way to show that you're strong Lou. Don't think of it as something to be embarrassed of.

"Really?" He smiled and nodded.

"Really". He slowly moved my arms back and leant down to press soft kisses along all of my scars. He smiled up at me and pressed his lips to mine in a quick motion. He desperately attacked my mouth with his and I pulled at his top and we departed for a few seconds as I threw his shirt away and tugged at his hair as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer and pushing his crotch to mine. I let out a strangled moan and he shoved his tongue into my mouth, massaging my own as he pulled me even closer and lifted his hips. "You have no idea how torturous two years of zero sex was for me Lou". He kissed down my neck. "Oh god I've missed you". He slid his hands down and cupped my ass, squeezing. I let out another moan and he kicked the door shut, turning the shower on. He pulled both my pants and briefs down along with his and pushed me into the shower, connecting our lips again. He took both our lengths in his hand and began moving up and down, making me throw my head back in pleasure. "You have no idea how much I want you". Our heavy breathing mixed together.

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