Let Me Help You (Zouis)

Chapter 21

Louis' POV

I snuck out of bed, trying not to disturb Zayn and grabbed my keys, walking down the hall. No one knows of this but Jenny, my parents and hers. I stood in front of the locked door and hesitated before I slid the key in and turned. I stepped in quickly before closing the door behind me and being as quiet as possible. I haven't been in this room since before I met Zayn. It's always been hard for me. I looked around the baby pink painted room, my eyes stopping on the white wooden cot and pink blankets. The white change table was covered in dust as well as the chest of drawers. I cautiously walked further in the room, the floorboards squeaking slightly, and wiped the dust off the baby album. I hesitated but lifted the cover and held back the tears.

Isabella Anne Tomlinson

weight: 3.4 kg

length: 50.8 cm

Hair colour: brown

Eye colour: blue

D.O.B: 12/03/2002

I turned the page and choked a sob as I ran my thumb over the sonogram. it hurt to look in here. It brought the memories back.

"come on babe you can do this" Jenny shook her head and fell back on the bed. "I believe in you baby. I've got you okay? Just a little more" I wiped the sweat from her forehead and smiled lightly. She nodded and sat up again, scrunching her cute face in concentration and strength, seething with exhaustion as she squeezed my hand tightly.

"Just one more push Jenny" She took a deep breath and did as the nurse said. I looked back at them and saw a small blue thing, unmoving in their hands, covered in blood.

"Wh-Why isn't she crying? Where is she? Where's my baby?" I felt myself pale as I saw her more clearly and looked back to Jenny.

"She'll be okay, we just need to do a few checks". Jenny nodded and looked at me with worry.

I remember when the nurses told me they wanted to have a word. I didn't really know what to expect. They told me that she was suffering from meconium aspiration that eventually led to pulmonary hypertension. she came out with a cord wrap. She wasn't breathing for 10 minutes before they got her to NICU. They got her to start breathing partially on her own. The doctors had her on so many different IVs, one of them was to paralyse her, after one day of this, they had her a brain wave test which she failed, she was brain dead. Jenny and I decided to let her go, it was way too painful to take many photos with her. We only took one but it pained me too much to ever look at that one photos. She passed away in Jenny's arms as I held them and I will never forget that painful memory. We were so excited to have a little girl along with our one year old Liam. We had absolutely everything prepared. The cot, room colour, change table, clothes, blankets, toys. Everything was planned. Not even Liam knows about any of this. He was only one. He was barely even talking or walking yet. I just wish I had of held her longer. She would be fourteen now. My little girl would be fourteen years old, only beginning her teenage years, my anger and protectiveness towards the boy who took her on her first date. The talk and threatening I would do. I just wish I still had my little girl. I grabbed a one piece and walked out the room, locking the door again and slipping back into bed, holding the piece of clothing close to my chest as I cried myself to sleep.

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"Lou?" I groaned and huffed, trying to push away the nagging feeling to open my eyes. "Louis? Niall's crying"

"You get 'm Jen. 'm tired from Isabella"

"Louis?" I came more to my senses and noticed a deep, raspy voice that couldn't be Jenny.