life

Human

Am I one? 

Or am I not? 

Actually I'm pretty sure I am one.

I need to stop making spaces.

Pretty sure it annoys you.

But eh, whatever I'm just hear to rant not to hear you talk about my shitty way of writing.

Yes, I just cursed. So what? 

Welcome to the 21st century! Where even little children are starting to learn the ways of being a 'cool' kid, yeah right. Cool kid.

That was what we all wanted to be at some point of our lives, no? 

I remember exactly when I was a kid, and I took the bus home since my parents were always too busy to do it themselves, only those few special occasions. 

I remember how once you get a seat at the back you are automatically labeled as 'cool kid' , but to be honest? 

I was always that kid who never cared who was in the back and was minding my own business, sure I got a seat in the back sometimes when the older kids would go away, but that's because I was very antisocial, and I still seem to be.

Yes, I do have friends, but I know at some point my persona will suddenly change and they would think I don't care about them anymore. 

What I think of this 'issue' of myself? 

I think I'm just like this, I mean you lose people and earn some on the way. There's always someone to be lost. 

I am honestly just mad at myself, I always seem to not care about anyone, but in the inside I care about them a lot. And that's not a joke, I truly do. 

Okay, I put up that big 'emotionless' act, who knows it may not even be an act, it's just me! I'm just like that, why can't you people deal with it?!?! 

Let's take my family as an example, and here's a warning before I go into my personal problems you probably don't want to hear, but I'm going to type it out anyways. 

This is basically how I get away from reality, I either game or just write down all my problems to somewhere. Or as I was recently banned to do, walk outside listening to music that would probably deafen some people's ears, and just go circles and circles around the neighbourhood till my mind decides to go back home. 

Ah, so let the personal problems begin, eh? Yeah, you probably wouldn't care about it anyways, people just think I'm a sensitive ass teenager who's just in a 'phase'. 

'PHASE' 

Yes bitch, a fucking 'phase' is what people would tell me.

Let me tell you, 'phase' is not what I would call this, I would call this my personality ever since I hit puberty. Which was since I was either 9 or 10, at first it wasn't that serious. Then I started slowly but gradually hating myself as I grew older, and took observations all around me.