To Whom It May Concern

Day 2: flashbacks

I pay no attention in French class, I get lost in thought. I begin thinking about last year and the year before that. Shiann. I think about her... No matter how many times she explained I didn't understand why she left me. I remember the day I asked her out.
---flashback---
Shiann and I go in her room to start getting ready for bed.
"Hey uhh... do you have a piece of paper...?"
"Yeah." She hands it to me and I begin writing.
*I've liked you for a long time and I'm sorry I'm to nervous to say this out loud, but will you do me the honor and be mine*
She read it and I begin to feel my palms get sweaty and I start to blush, I could just feel her read that last part. I see her scribble some stuff and give it back.
*you know I like you too, and yes*
I smile wide and she sees, I look at her and she leans in, we kiss, at that moment I felt my heart ache. I had been in love with her for over a year and she was finally mine. We put on our night clothes and get in her bed, beginning to cuddle.
"I love you." I said out of impulse.
"I love you too." She smiled which made me blush hard. We fell asleep in eachothers arms, and at that time, I knew what true love felt like.
The next day I had to go back to the hospital as I was at a residential and on a 48 hour pass. I was so upset but I knew I had the best person in the world waiting. Everyday I wrote her. One letter a day, she was always on my mind. Every waking second to every sleepless night.
Not long after I got out she broke up with me, I was so heartbroken. I hurt myself that night, she told me someone told her I was cheating, eventhough I wouldn't have the heart.
---end of flashback---
Before I knew it I was off to history. The whole day went by and I was lost. Not that anyone cared, not even Shiann. After so long she still held my heart, even if she didn't want it.
I go home and enter my room. It felt colder and much darker than normal. I find my blade, sometimes I just stare at it. I'm not really sure why. I slide the dull side against my skin. It doesn't Pierce. I begin to cry, which turns into a sob. I can barely breath and I begin to hold the razor next to my chest as if it were a safety blanket. I look at my wrist and begin to take my frustration out on it. Things get dark, before I know it I'm asleep. Sleep is the closest thing to death we have without going all the way.