To Whom It May Concern

Day 3: disconnected

I wake up to my alarm clock screaming, not remembering what happened till I felt a sting on my wrist. I know exactly what it is. I hear my mom tell me I need to get dressed, so I do. I make it to school earlier than normal, not that I cared, I liked being early. I sit by myself knowing no one wanted to be near me. I see the people flood in what seems like millions is actually only a few hundred. Shiann and her boyfriend are at the same table they always are, with the people I once called friends. Now none of them care about me.
*riiing*
I head to my first class: resource. I don't do anything there, only sit and draw. I get to the middle table, where I always do, and pull out my notebook and a pencil. I start doodling not sure what to draw. The other five people come in and pay no mind to me, nor do I to them. I just want to go back to bed. Nothing really happens in resource and before I know it it's over. I go through the normal everyday motions like a zombie. Gym was the only OK class, I had a friend that I could talk to. I don't admit to self harm however, but I believe she knows something's up but says nothing. Lunch then math. I hate math, it's my worse subject and I don't know anyone there so I never ask for help. The people there act like they know everything, if I asked for help I'd only be shamed.
2:20 I head for the bus and feel lonely as ever. I put in my ear buds so no one can bother me but my attempt wasnt going to cut it. A few people purposely bump into me and laugh. I try to pay it no mind but it bothers me some. I get home and walk down my driveway, another uneventful day. I go to my room unplug my earbuds and my room fills with music. I start to play a game on my PlayStation since I had nothing else to do.
"I beat the game." I tell my sister as she walks in. She shrugs it off and continues to tell me about her day. A little later on we have dinner and I sit in my bed. An incredible emptiness settles in and I fight off tears, but lose. I grab my pillow and sob into it. I lay down and cry myself to sleep, I don't know how much longer I can go on.