To Whom It May Concern

Day 4: no fairytale

I wake up and look at the time. It's just past 12am, I sit up remembering what had happened. I turn on some music to try and drown out my thoughts but it doesn't work so well.
Why doesn't she love me anymore, why couldn't I make her happy? Why am I so stupid to think someone could love me?
All I can think is "why"
I lay back down with my music on and just think about everything I could have done differently. I fall asleep and get up at about 11am, thank god it was Saturday.
"You need to clean your room today Katy."
"I will." I responded to my mom. I didn't realize how messy my room had gotten. I went and grabbed some plastic bags and began to clean. After about an hour I finish and open up my Kik. I figured I would text an old friend.
*hey*
*hey, whos this?*
I wasnt taken back, i change my kik picture and name on a daily basis.
*its kaitlyn, i know one of your friends and you asked if you could hmu*
*oh ok sorry, whats up?*
*nothing honestly, you?*
We went on talking about pointless stuff and i couldnt of been happier. Someone was paying attention to me again. I carried out the day like normal. Again at night i got depressed and started to cry. I put myself together and texted Damon.
*hey*
*yo*
*wyd*
*laying here, you?*
*listening to music.*
We went on like this for awhile till he went to sleep. I was still up though, thinking. I began to think deeply about how things would be if I weren't here. I considered it seriously and made up my mind to go to sleep and see how I felt in the morning. The next day I thought about suicide again, even still I fight through the school day.
"Hey Katy"
"Hey shi, how's it going?"
"Pretty good, you?"
"It's going." I laugh it off like it's a joke.
"I feel you." We both laugh and go our separate ways.
I head in the class and as soon as someone notices me they start whispering and laughing, which makes me rather uncomfortable but I play it off like I didn't see.
"You can't show people your weaknesses" I think to myself letting out a sigh.