I Want To See // Joshler

24. n

~Tyler~

I sat on my bed, playing on my PlayStation4, at least I tried too. I kept on getting distracted by the thought of Josh. Just thinking about him makes me happy. I want to meet him but I can't, and that makes me sad, even if we did live close to each other I still wouldn't be able to meet him, although I want too. I've wanted to meet him ever since we started talking all day, on the weekends. I love him, but he doesn't feel the same way about me, I can tell. He might act like he does, but that's probably because he's trying to make me happy. Anyways, he's straight, so I have no chance with him. If only he was at least bisexual?? Or even if I was female! At this point being female would be better so I at least would have a small chance with him.

I got up, and turned my PS4 off, because I seriously can not think about anything but my giant crush on Josh. My friends all know that I have like the biggest crush on him, but he seems to not know, which confuses me because I've been making it incredibly obvious from the start.

If only I was brave enough to tell Josh I loved him, he might try to go out with me. Probably not, but at least I wouldn't have to feel like this anymore! We'd still be friends if he rejected me, right?

Then, I remembered that I had to start getting ready to call Josh, although I have around 40-30 minutes left to wait, it's better to start getting ready early than to start getting ready late. Yeah, yeah, that saying is overused, so what? It doesn't matter, because it's true.

Maybe I should tell Josh I love him today. I wonder how he'd react. Probably badly, but that okay! No, no it's not, it's not okay. Anyways, if I even try to tell him it's probably sound like gibberish because of how terrified (dont) I would be.

~Josh~

I regret ever lying to Tyler saying I was straight. But at the time, I thought I was, I've never felt feelings for someone with the same gender as me. Until I met Tyler. Tyler made me feel like I have a reason to keep living. When I first met him, I was suicidal as fuck, but he's why I'm still alive. God, I love how adorable, cute, and funny he is. He always knows the right way and time to make a joke. And I just love his sassy side. He might seem harsh but I know it's just a joke, or at least part of his perfect personality. I couldn't have had a better friend than Tyler. Tyler is just so perfect, like he's an angel in disguise.

I fucking love Tyler so much, but I'm WAY too scared to tell him! I know he is gay, but that doesn't make a difference, I don't think he'd like to date me, after all the times he's friend zoned me in the past. It hurt every time. But he always tries to play it as he friend zoned me, but sometimes it feels like he actually meant that he loved me. I think Tyler might've had a crush on me for a long time. Even if that's the case I'm too scared to ever tell him that I'm in love with him.

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A/N I swear I'm trying my best