two sides | sekai

heads (3)

sehun's eyes kept darting back and forth, from the coffee to the front door. the clicking of the ceramic cup with its plate echoed through the empty room and found its way to jongin's ears. he experienced a desire to just slice the thick fog of silence suffocating him because oh sehun stubbornly refused to part his pretty pink lips that jongin could not take his eyes off of. sweetness dripped from his heavenly lips. they were like the soft ridges of dunes in the desert at sunset; like the crests of waves meeting in the frothy rush to shore; like the folded wings of courting birds.

i was done believing in second chances.
i was done believing in true love.
and i was most definitely done believing in life

but you came along
and slapped me across the face,
screaming my name
and tending to the wound in my heart.

in a setting so unfamiliar, something made him feel otherwise. the angle at which oh sehun crossed his legs; the soft noises he made each time he took a deep breath. his breathing was an art form: his chest rising and falling with the sedative qualities of a lullaby.

the restful world we lived in was nothing
but a one-way mirror
and i failed to realise that
you were on the other side of it all this while.

there were nights that jongin would wake up breathing as if his body was starved of oxygen, gasping for any bit of air that would restore his soul that was inching away from his grasp. there were times when it came in short and shallow bursts. there were times when it was hard to breathe for tears fell like hurricane rain. but this was not one of those times. now his chest was more steady, eyes becoming accustomed to the artwork that was seated in front of him.

as the seconds ticked by slower than ever imaginable, he started regretting ever inviting oh sehun into his home. people claim time stands still when you are watching something you love. in his case, it only seemed to sprint, running over his heart in the process.

there were many signs that clearly pointed out oh sehun's dislike for him that seemed to be of cosmic proportions: the shimmering droplets of sweat that trickled down his forehead, precisely following his perfect cheekbones; his unabating fidgeting; and especially his unwavering decision to never look up at kim jongin. his only sane conclusion was that oh sehun wanted to leave as soon as possible. however, even with his eyebrows furrowed, oh sehun made his heart flutter.

jongin could feel his own heartbeat, every single pound in his chest. not through his ears that were occupied by the steady drumming of oh sehun's sylphlike fingers and the dark voice of rain splashing against his roof, drowning out the rhythm of his heartbeat. he could not hear it but he could feel it. it remained, even as the thunder struck. the thunder came like the prelude to a great song, impetuous rumbling permeating the air every bit as much as the sudden rain. at first, it was a crack, violent to the ears but after came a rolling sound that dissipated into the surrounding.

the icy grey sky grumbled relentlessly. the thick and blackened clouds were dragged down by the heavy rain which was held in its delicate frame. the clouds which struggled to withstand the burden of the weight of the rain had soon given in. the rain was pouring down with a roar, showing no trace of mercy. soon, everything became a disorientated chaos, starting with his heart.

what disturbed jongin the most was that oh sehun looked purely disgusted to even be in his presence, but could you really blame him? no one in their right mind would willingly spend their time with a boy that caused nothing but destruction. this made jongin wonder why he agreed to come in if he was nowhere keen on interacting with jongin but then again, he did not exactly give sehun a choice.

silence, a few feet, and unfamiliarity isolated them both.

jongin stood up, studying sehun's frustratingly symmetric face, not once uttering a word. he noticed the little things. like how sehun seemed to love the colour blue. he recalled seeing sehun's bedroom walls through his own bedroom window. blue shrieked from within and seemed to oddly represent oh sehun. why it did was something he could not put his finger on but it did. not a detail of sehun's clothes or features escaped him.

"i know you have been watching me."

jongin was left completely nonplussed.

one moment jongin's mind was doing somersaults, wondering how to respond to sehun's accusation, which was a hundred percent verifiable claim, and the next he could taste cinnamon hazelnut sprinkled with the smell of ground coffee. the fierce spice flavour had pounced on him with no prior warning.

kiss me till our lips become so numb,
we will not know if they are mine or yours.

jongin always had a way with words. whether it was witty remarks or snarky comments, they rolled off his tongue like his first language. words were his forte. even though he never said much, the little that he said never failed to make a huge impact on those around him, which was why he dreamt of becoming a writer. but it all came to an end when along with his passion, he lost himself.

he would spend hours sprawled across his bedroom floor, scribbling on any piece of rough paper he laid his eyes on. when you grow up doing something you love without limits, it is only a matter of time before it turns into a career. he never wished for much in his life. he only had two wishes. he wished that his foster parents were, in fact, his biological parents and he wished that he would eventually make himself known in the fiction world.

this time, it was different. not only did he grapple to find words, but his mind was also vacant and bare, only occupied by obsidian-black nothing. jongin shivered at its cold blackness. the only deduction was that his mind was paralysed, not by fear but by incredulity. words felt outlandish and silence enveloped him in a tight hermetic embrace that refused to unhitch him.

your lips are the gun.
your smile is the trigger.

your kisses are the bullets.
can i label you my killer?

why oh sehun connected lips with him was a mystery that had no answer. but he would be lying to himself if he said that he had not been yearning for this moment all along.

for a long time, i was not entirely sure
i wanted to put myself back together,
because letting go of the sadness would
mean i had to redefine myself. and sometimes,
i still feel like chasing the darkness, because
i do not exactly know who i am without it.
i realised i made a home out of
something i should have never let in.

you.

----

hello everyone :"))

guess who's back from the depths of hell earlier than she said she would !! hope you liked "chapter" 3 of two sides because i really tried to make it as good as possible since i made you guys wait for what? A MONTH?? omg i am so sorry !!!

anyway, i also wanted to make sure you guys knew that this "book" was actually just supposed to be a one-shot but well look where we are. it is still going to be pretty short though. there is only about 2 "chapters" left :"((

but do not fear because as the name suggests - TWO sides - and this is only jongin's perspective, there will be a "sequel" that explores the flip side of the coin, sehun's perspective.

look forward to the next "chapter" :")

please vote if you liked the story ♡

haechanthevisual ©