two sides | sekai

heads (4)

they kissed. once. twice. until jongin had a taste and realised he would never have enough. oh sehun was everywhere up his back and over his arms and suddenly, he was kissing him harder and deeper with a fervent urgent need he had never known before.

i love it when in the middle of our kiss,
i can feel you smiling and
i cannot control myself from deepening it
because i know this is the closest
i have ever been to someone emotionally.

jongin traced oh sehun's lip lightly with the tip of his finger. it pouted slightly and he had such an urge to bite it, to kiss it, to wrap both of them up in a quilt and listen to his gentle breathing that seemed to drown out all the worries he has ever had. oh sehun's lip felt slightly chapped under his feather-light touches but he simply could not bring himself to give a damn. he gazed so intently at each divot of those lips, as if it could map out ancient seas and tell him everything he did not know. and he did not want to look up because if he did, he might find himself at the mercy of questioning eyes, pleading, begging to know what he was doing but he was not at liberty to say because he simply does not know. did he love oh sehun? he could not form an answer with his lips because he was so focused on sehun's.

i want to write poems on your skin with my lips.

orthodox i love yous were never once exchanged between the two. they were shown in the small things. no wonder people say that actions speak louder than words. like how sehun spent time comparing their features in a way that made him wonder if their potential children would be attractive. like how jongin was all smiles after every time they connected lips. like how sehun woke up before jongin each morning, just to trace the outline of jongin's 130-degree jawline while he was still asleep. like how jongin pretended not to notice this and hid the fact that he squeezed sehun's slender hands in hopes that he did not leave him like everyone else. like how sehun, being the evidently physically weaker one, naturally wanted to protect jongin.

men are innately protective. millions of years of biological evolution have brought them to the point where they instinctively want to protect those they love, whether they need it or not. sehun protected jongin from getting hurt, emotionally or physically but protecting nonetheless.

your soul feels so much like home,
and when i met you,
i finally understood what they mean when they say
"not all who wander are lost".

for i always find myself wandering back into your arms.

whenever jongin laid eyes on oh sehun, it was as though space and time had become the finest point imaginable, as if time had collapsed into one tiny speck and exploded at the speed of light. it was as if his universe began and ended with sehun. he could run forever, search forever, but in the end, every path led right back to sehun's heart and soul.

they never labelled their relationship. they never saw the need to and neither of them complained. maybe it was because, deep down, they knew that one day, all this would only come crashing down and it would be easier to move on if there was no commitment or obligation to stay and repair it. their bond was formed off of a shared desperation and possibly lust. jongin's desire to touch the art that was oh sehun only grew when he started realising it was time. it was time to say goodbye and it was time to experience all the things he will never again get the opportunity to. he knew he was selfish. he knew this would only hurt oh sehun but was he not allowed one more wish? after all, all he ever wanted in life was to love someone without limits.

was that so wrong?

jongin considered waking up beside oh sehun a gift: a gift that he did not deserve; could never earn, and was undoubtedly unworthy of. it became apparent that their "relationship" was definitely not one-sided. each craved their own needs and refused to back down. it was what drove them together in the first place. so when jongin found his needs fully satisfied, he did not know how to feel. resorting to pushing oh sehun away was his only option. driving sehun away became his objective. he never wanted to contaminate something so pure and genuine with his toxicity and poison.

i will never regret you
or say that i hate you
because once upon a time,
you were exactly what i needed.

it was like watching your home getting utterly wrecked by a tsunami and you just stood there, voluntarily choosing to do nothing about it. he imagined the smell of smoke twisting through the air by the hot breeze. he imagined oh sehun trapped in that home, fighting the grip of a shadow that refused to release him, affixing him to the spot that threatened his life. he imagined pieces falling off the building that was destroyed in an instant by the shocks rippling through the ground. and worst of all, he saw oh sehun crumbling down by the weight of the debris, all because jongin refused to let that boy go. all because of his selfishness and he hated himself for it but more than that, he hated sehun for refusing to run away from the mess that was jongin.

when he realised nothing he did could detach oh sehun from him, he gave up. he gave up on trying and he gave up on himself. he knew his life was made unimaginably beautiful by oh sehun but he also knew that sehun's life was being adulterated the longer he stayed with jongin. he finally understood the phrase "all good things must come to an end".

not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting.

including us.

----

hey hello hi

this chapter was probably the most fun to write because it is the least deep and sad haha :") (for all my readers who wanted to see some kissing ;))

wow i can't believe this is the second last "chapter" 0.o time definitely flies when you are writing deep stuff that probably no one except you can decipher :")

as always, do feel free to comment and please vote if you liked the story ♡

l00k forward to the last chapter !!!!

(when do you guys want me to publish it???)

haechanthevisual ©