Trouvaille

Nightmare of someone ahead

I washed my body and settled myself with his sweater and a trouser. It kept me warm not until I opened the windows of his cabin. It is still storming, but the wind was far from ferocious. Not long it will slowly calm.

I reminded myself not to go out afraid that I will get scowled again or get chain. I did not notice that I fell a sleep and woke up when I felt someone is looking at me.

I felt embarrass as I gazed unto the leaning Captain. He was leaning unto the window watching me with his dark deadly perilous eyes.

"It's rude to stare a sleeping person." I remarked and pulled myself out of the bed.

"Have you been watching me?" I asked when he did not move or even tore his eyes from me.

His jaw clenched once again.

"Don't go out today, stay right here." He said and looked over to the window.

It was bright outside already, we succeeded on passing to the storm. I smiled as I remembered what he had done to me earlier.

"Thank you." I mumbled and looked down. Everything went into complete silent.

He's still mad I get that. I almost caused a problem to the whole Barbaross. Oh, I was always causing trouble to the Barbaross.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. I was surprised, he's starting a conversation.

"I'm fine now, just a bit dizzy." I told him not looking unto his eyes.

To make it even more awkward, I suddenly remembered what happened yesterday. How am I remembering things that had happened to us?

"You have to sleep again; rest and I will call someone to bring you food." He said obviously ending the conversation. I don't want that.

I want someone to talk to, I want to ask questions.

"Wait." I stated. He stopped walking and waited for another word. But I myself have no idea what to say. I simply want him to talk.

"What is it?" He asked suddenly impatient.

I ignored his tone and brainstormed of what to say.

"You're wasting my time woman." He said.

"I just want to ask if where are we heading to?" I asked out of nowhere.

"You are not permitted to know."

I felt a brush of pain inside, but I ignored it. I chose to ignore it.

"I badly need to know it." I insisted but I felt his strong patience. His dark aura spreading.

"Goddamn it." He cursed. I stiffen when I heard him curse, for a moment I appreciate my silence.

"I'm sorry, I simply want to know." I said and went back to bed. I covered myself with his blanket.

"Stay fucking still and wait for me. That's all you have to do." He declared and turned to me.

"I'll be sleeping in the couch, sleep tight." He said before walking away. He shut the door before my eyes and walked soundly outside. I frowned and started to clutch my hand to his blanket. I balled a fist, wondering how to hit his face. But that would be impossible. Giving a blow to his face is like getting away from a bullet of a sharp shooter. Impossible and a fantasy.

I pushed away the blanket and stared at the ceiling.

How many days have I been sailing? Almost a month? I couldn't believe that it's been almost a month, it felt like years already. I've learned so many things. About the Pirates, how I believed of them before is way too far from what I believe now. The sea and the whole escaping thing, I was wrong... I was very wrong to think of the sea as my escape, as my freedom, cause right now it's more like my dungeon. Caging me in every corner of my life.

The pleasant smell of sweet alyssum filled my nostrils when I woke up in the middle of the night. Darkness was all I could see but I was at peace. The scent made me fearless against darkness. It is making me superior.

Suddenly, light came slowly. Slowly until it was blinding me. I couldn't help but close my eyes when the painful light ravaged my vision. When I opened it, I was already in the middle of a garden filled with sweet alyssum flowers. The sun was close to setting down, dark and light was fighting over the horizon.

Where am I?

I stood up from where I was and look around to search for someone. Someone I knew, or someone I can ask of what is happening. But, I found no one. There was only the overwhelming silence of the flowers and the grasses.

I was becoming more impatient when I heard barks of laughs from behind. The voice was too much to bare and too sweet to compare. It was very perfect for the garden. It was so innocent, so naïve and fragile. She must have been so happy to laugh like that.

But when I looked behind, I saw no one. It was only the flowers, all I could see are the sweet alyssum. Smiling as they danced with the same rhythm and staring right back at me.

The place is entirely breathtaking. But I must go, I must go back from where I really was. This place reminds me of my true escape. The dream I've been dreaming. The wish that will never come true and the place that I will never belong to. This place is both a dream and a nightmare. And I have no time to touch both of it. I only have nightmare, I am not allowed to cross boundaries. I do not belong to this place, I was born for wilderness.

"Hello? Can somebody hear me?" I shouted but there was nothing I heard in response. I am quite certain I am not alone. What about the voices? The laughs? Aren't they true?

Terror spun through me when every sweet alyssum died. Blood was draining out of its petals. The flowers were slowly dying, and I heard cries. Cries from the flowers. It was horrifying, the sound was horrifying because it sounds like people. And the scent of the sweet alyssum was quickly replaced by a blood of a recent kill.

I wanted to run, I wanted to close my eyes. But all I could do was to stare. I couldn't help it, I couldn't make a move. Because this is not my world, and I have no right to touch it even in its darkest day even if I mean to help.

Darkness slowly covered the dead garden, but my eyes were quickly fixed to a silhouette of a woman. She was tall and enchanting. She's standing in front of me with her handful of blood. She started to walk, and I started to shout.

No...no...no...

"Stop!" I shouted but there was no use, she keeps on walking.

"Stop Please!" I begged but she wouldn't listen.

"STOP!"

And that was when I opened my eyes. My clothes were dampened with sweat and I was hungry for air to breathe. I searched for light and found the full moon peeking inside the window.

It was all just a dream. The woman, the garden, the darkness, the sweet alyssum, the blood and cries. They were all just a...no, they were nightmares.

It shouldn't matter to me anymore, I have enough problems on the list. A nightmare shouldn't matter anymore.

The door was suddenly opened, and Captain Jacques came inside. He was staring at me for a moment, but he fixed his gaze to the sofa. He looks sleepy and exhausted. But beauty still hasn't left his face.

I controlled my heavy breaths and laid back to the bed again.

"Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" He asked.

"I had a nightmare." I simply said.

I heard the sofa cricked so I guess he's sleeping.

"I have nightmares every day of my life." He said. Something in his voice I couldn't understand.

"But they're just nightmares. So, don't be afraid. Unless you'll pee on my bed then be horrified." He added. His voice getting playful and threatful.

"I wasn't afraid." I stated, trying to defend myself.

"Then sleep."

I balled in to a fist. Controlling my awakened rage towards the jerk.