Crestfallen ↬ Carl Grimes (old version)

S E L C O U T H

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE; SELCOUTH

"The things that used to make me cry

now just make my hands shake and my eyes blank."

"It's time to tell you a story, Milah."

➳

"DAD?"

"Dad!"

"Dad, please!"

"Dad, please come back to me..."

"I need you!"

"Please..."

"I can't survive without you, dad..."

"I need you..."

"Dad..."

-

Thick underbrush and harsh branches claw at the clothes placed like armor over my skin as I push my way through the moonlit woodland area, nature's calling ringing in my ears the more I walk into the forest's captivating yet vulnerable environment. With my knife in one hand, and my devotion towards putting myself out there and away from everyone, I had taken it to myself to pursue the northern area past where Bob had been taken, all while continuing to push farther and farther away from Carl and his silent way of following my every move.

In the long while we have been out here searching for the lone man, I have come up with some retaliation and defiance tactics to the main topics my brain specifically likes to pick up on and use like ammo against me. In obvious ways, it was clear to me that I was nothing but weak and purely outweighed when it came to the symptoms my brain shoved down my throat, but I couldn't act like it was all going to be okay and going to end soon, for there was no doubt it would only get harder and harder the more I continued to ignore it. With that in mind, number one on my hit-list, without counting any that I have collected throughout my past, would have to be Bob and the way my brain seemingly enjoyed making a large explosion during a major problem, distracting myself in a way I couldn't possibly describe by showing my Dad right in front of my eyes, playing with the bundle of life that has easily become a part of my happiness by being the sister of the boy who held the key to it. I knew perfectly well that Bob's capture was not able to be stopped, and with that being said, there was absolutely no reason for me to go blaming myself for someone else's plan's of lunacy fueled by inhumane motivations. I wasn't going to give in, not with everything else running through my mind.

"We need to take a break," a white cloud curls from the boy's lips as he speaks these words, reminding me of the chill in the air as it floats in between us, breaking apart as he passes his hand through it to place it on my shoulder. His eyes were like a bright beacon illuminated in the moonlight, shining clear and true underneath the shadow of his hat. In them, painted a picture of worry and stress. For his group, for his missing member, and for everything that's went on right after a supposed dinner of hope and new beginnings."It's only getting darker and it won't help anyone if we get lost."

"We haven't even made it far enough, yet," I shake my head, knowing fully well that I was in the wrong, though. Carl, however much I hated to admit it, usually always has truth behind the words he speaks. Whether it be advice, an order, or purely a casual statement. I don't know what I would do if that ever changed, but right now, I didn't want to accept the fact that I couldn't live without it. "One man couldn't have dragged a man this far without making a path where the body was dragged. Do you see one anywhere?"