Beaten

1

I wake up in a pool of sweat, I stare at the blank ceiling, trying to catch my breath. Just another nightmare, moving isn't easy and neither was my life. I turn my head to look at the clock, 5:00 am flashed back at me. I looked back at the ceiling, I cover my eyes with my arm, last night still stung. I moved my arm away from my eyes; I got up, my feet hit the cold floor. I thought when we moved I would leave my old life behind, I thought I would finally stand up for myself; I was more vulnerable than ever. I get up, my leg stinging as soon as I put pressure on it; I walk to my bathroom. Discarding my white baggy sleeping shirt I look at myself in the mirror, I wasn't unfit, but I wasn't skinny in my eyes. I hear the sound of footsteps outside my bedroom door, I freeze. Scared that if I made even just a sound, my Dad would bust the door down and come after me, the footsteps pass by my room. I let out a sigh of relief.

I get dressed for the day and walk down the stairs of our new house, my father sits at the table, eating his breakfast like a pig. He doesn't acknowledge me so I continue out the house, I already want to get out, and never return. Mother said that is was a fresh start, but father still beats me, I'm still depressed, I still have no friends, the only fresh start is with all the people. I walk down the path, not really knowing where I'm going, I just walk, trying to numb my constant pain. I find myself a park, early morning joggers run through, some wave or smile. I give them a weak smile, I walk through my new surroundings. A sport club was having it's morning practice, I decide to watch.

Some of the boys were cute, and others were down right handsome. I sit with my disgusting body on the bench, just watching the players. I could already tell who are the popular people, there are six of them, all of them are pretty cute. I wish I could do what they are doing right now, but I was probably too fat for that. I keep watching them until there practice was over, they were all excellent players, and I certainly wouldn't mind if one of them came and spoke to me. Although I knew deep down, they probably saw me and thought I was disgusting, and put me down as: should avoid.

I get up and start walking away as the six popular boys I assume start walking my way. I walk down the path, looking at my new surroundings. I look up at the rising sun and sigh, it had been thirty minutes. I could hear talking behind me, it was those six popular boys, they were walking behind me? "It was a great practice today!" One of them says, "yeah, but I don't understand why we have to get up so early," another one moans. I listen to their conversation for a bit longer until I see a coffee shop. I check my pockets, letting the six popular boys pass by me, one of them waves and greets me. I give him a weak smile and small wave.

I had just enough money for a hot chocolate, I grab the hot cup, trying to warm up my cold hands, despite is being winter, my father said it would be a waste of money to buy me some winter clothes. Said I'd never appreciate them, when tiny white snowflakes started to fall, I hoped that my father would have a change of heart and buy me a jacket. Not even a good one, just a thin one, but anything to keep me from the harsh weather. I hear chatter coming from a nearby booth, it was the six popular boys again. I listen in on their conversation, "we had an audience today," one says, "do you think he could be the knew kid?" Another asks. "Could be, Taehyung waved to the kid, how old did he look?" The first one asks. "He looked about our age, if he was going to join our grade he'd be one of the younger ones," I assume Taehyung said.

I sip my hot chocolate, the warm liquid runs through my body, giving me temporary warm and fuzziness inside, but it all fades away. I realise what I am drinking, I was already disgusting, I didn't need to be fatter than I already was. I sigh, I suppose I would have to throw it up later. I finish the cup and get up, the six boys get a little bit louder, one telling the other to be quiet, then covering his mouth as he sees me. I nod and smile, a weak smile, but a smile. I walk away, "do you think he heard us?" one boy asks. They weren't very good at waiting for someone to be out of earshot.