Just Say You Won't Let Go

Release

I sat on the stairs completely emotionless. All uncle Scott could do is stare, along with Justin. 10 minutes passed of complete silence until uncle Scott broke it.

"Why?" He whispered.

"I hate my self. From the way I look to The way I act. I hate everything about me. To prove to my body how much I hate it, I scar it. To prove how much I hate myself and my actions I punish myself. It's like a release from all the pain and sorrow and hurt. I just - I don't know." I whispered back. 

"Justin, we'll talk later. Just go home and rest." Uncle Scott told Justin.

"Okay Scott. Look Em I'm so -" I cut him off.

"Please. Please just go" I whimpered.

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Justin's point of view

I went home and all I could think about was Em. She looked defeated. She looked so hurt and so torn. Why am I such an asshole? I should be there for her, but I can't because I messed up. She has her ways of grieving and I have mine.

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No point of view

Justin went to his room and grabbed his dime bag of weed and a cigarillo. He smoked by himself all night.

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Justin's point of view

I woke up surrounded by so much food. My living room was a disaster. Before I could clean it my door bell rang. I rushed and grabbed the baggy and shoved it in the couch. I pushed the bong underneath the couch and put as much food back as possible. When I answered the door it was Lex

"Hey Lex" I tried sounding happy but I was miserable.

"Hey babe" she smiled. She tried kissing my lips but I turned so she got my cheek. "Whats wrong?" She sounded concerned.

"Nothing I'm just tired. Why did you tell Em I called her ugly. What I say to you is personal. Especially when I am friends with her and I never said that to you" I asked.

"I'm sorry baby. I was jealous. She's so pretty and I felt insecure. You can understand that right?" She pleaded her case.

"Can you come in so we can talk?" I asked.

"Sure..?" She said concerned.

She walked in and sat on the couch.

"You know I love you. I'll always love you. But I need some time to find who I am. I've lost my self along the way. I do what I'm told. I don't live my life how I want. I live my life how Scott and my crew want me to live. I'm tired and just need time to myself. I really hope you can understand that." I finished off.

She started crying. "I understand Justin. I just wish I could help you. But I understand." She sobbed.

I hugged her and told her I was sorry. She went to grab her phone and saw the baggy. I just froze.

"Are you serious Justin! What the hell is this? You didn't start again. Please tell me you didn't start again." She started crying out of frustration.

"You don't understand. I was upset I needed a release. My life is just going wrong i needed something" I started crying. "Please just don't tell anybody" I pleaded.

"Justin I have to go. I can't be apart of this" she got up and headed for the door. I grabbed her wrist and turned her around.

"Please Alexis" I begged

"Let go of me" she demanded. I let go and she ran to her car and sped off.

I was so scared. She wouldn't do that right? She wouldn't tell on me right? All I could do is pace back and forth.

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