CUBBY LOVE - MANxMAN

Chapitre Un

I'm writing a new story in my head that I had a sudden epiphany to put on paper (in this case type them up on my laptop)

Anyways, it's something fresh and new so enjoy

DO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

this is a manxman story so yeah you should know the deets by now :)

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btw meet Cooper

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COOPER

Am I really ready for this? I'm not so sure anymore.

I am done with being so lonely and desperate; if you were in my shoes you would know the feeling. I am just shy of ten pounds to be 300lbs and I am not what you would normally consider as a thing of beauty. I'm what some people may refer to as a cub as compared to a bear but I am not hairy at all. I'm just horizontally blessed with extra fat and flabbiness.

I had no choice but to do this, to feel the intimacy of being with someone else even if it would be just for less than half an hour, maybe less. The intimacy that might even guarantee my self-worth nor any sort of self-satisfaction from my part. That same kind of intimacy which is considered a joke for others and not to be taken seriously for most gay guys out there.

No strings attached or nsa as they would coined it. I learnt about these terms solely through my own research through the bountiful Internet because I mean let's be honest , for a guy like me to have someone close to spend some intimate time with is like waiting for the Red Sea to break into two once again. I'm not that holy, nor am I that special or miraculous.

I am obviously gay – if you haven't figured that one out yet – and I'm not really out and proud with it either. I just turned 19 a month ago and I have never been kissed. I am a fat, gay virgin who would want nothing more than to not being a virgin.

The alert notification on my iPhone alerted me once again that I can't back away now. I have to face my fears once and for all. This would probably be the first and the last time I would ever try something as stupid and risky as this. We exchanged numbers through the Grindr app and we had been chatting since yesterday.

I had summed up enough courage to ask him for a meet and he said 'Yeah, sure why not.' I didn't really put my real picture as the profile pic, I just use a random guy's body to cover my own insecurities and I bet at least half of the dudes on Grindr aren't even using their own real pictures.

I took a deep breath as I scanned the vicinity for any familiar faces that might notice me. I know I'm just being superbly paranoid but I can't help it. It's my first time being this discreet. Heck even cruising would be so alien to me because I never really believe in this sort of secretive, temporary, no-strings-attached kind of fun in the first place.

I would never believe that I'm actually doing this. Why am I doing this again? I don't really know why, to tell you the truth. I am just pining for at least some sort of intimacy and connection with someone, be it a stranger or a psychotic killer if my luck is really that bad. I don't know what to expect but I'm pretty sure this won't end nicely for my part since I know I am expecting more.

Relax, Cooper and take a deep breath. You're just giving this a try. If it turns out so nasty, then you don't have to do it again. Experience is what counts, man.