Only a Storm

Tears and Plays - April 3

I waited until Miss Anna was busy comforting Susanna Jordan, a skinny girl whose nerves were shaky at the best of times. Then I screwed up my face, covered it with my hands, and started shaking, taking huge, ragged breaths and releasing them with whimpering sounds. I had to be careful not to break down too quickly, or people might be suspicious. I was known for my tough, cynical nature. For one of the two most brave kids in the class to fall into hysterics out of nowhere would have had alarms blaring in everyone's heads. I also made sure Miss Amy would be the one to come because Miss Anna was far more observant—I had a feeling she wouldn't be fooled by a few crocodile tears.

Next, I intensified my shaking, still quiet. A hand fell gently on my shoulder. "Emma sweetie? What's wrong?"

I allowed myself a full blown sob. "M-mommy said the weather would be g-good," I blubbered. "But, but it's raining so hard and there's thunder and—" I cut myself off, fading into another sob. She held me close, whispering how it would be alright. In order to keep up my ruse, I allowed myself to think about my fears—allowed myself to cry for real, if only a tiny bit. After a couple of minutes, I commanded my tears to slow to a trickle, then dry into salt-tacky tracks on my cheeks. The art of fake tears was one I had mastered over years of practice, and I relished the opportunity to put on a show. As Miss Amy pulled a few inches away, I looked up at her with my huge, teary eyes from under my lashes, knowing that the dark violet rings around the edges of my irises gave my gaze an eerie, piercing quality that would counteract the sympathetic childish innocence I had worked so hard to portray.

I hiccupped, swallowing hard, as if choking down my sobs. "Better now?" She asked, stroking my hair soothingly. Or, I'm sure it was meant to be soothing. In actuality, her fingers pulled at the tangles that had developed during my fake break down. I nodded anyway, trying to exude gratefulness.

I decided it was time to strike. "Miss Amy?"

"Yes, sweetie?" She said softly.

I glanced around, keeping my miserable posture. "May I please use the bathroom?" I made sure that my words echoed just enough that the nearest kids would hear them.

She smiled sadly. "Sorry hun. You can't leave the room without a teacher, and I can't leave your classmates. Normally, I'd say yes, but the ship..."

I gave her another doe eyed stare. "Will you please ask? They said—said that you could ring them with the button..." I made my words stumbling and unsure. This would be the moment of truth. Would my display make her sympathetic enough to disturb the crew?

She bit her lip, considering. Her eyes darted to the sides. Another moment of breathless anticipation and she closed her eyes, releasing a sigh. When they opened, I saw my victory in her eyes. "Alright. But you'll need to be fast, okay?" I nodded again, and she went to the door, hitting the little button. It made no sound, and for a moment I worried it wasn't on the back-up power. Then the door swung open and a dripping wet Smiling Lady was there.

"What can I do for you folks?" She asked, still holding onto her false cheer.

Miss Amy whispered something to her, and she nodded understanding, eyes darting to me and then back with another nod. Miss Amy motioned me forward and as I walked toward the door, I mentally crossed my fingers that my classmates would understand what was happening. I was close enough to touch the smiling woman's hand when Libbie's voice piped up from behind.

"I want to use the bathroom too!" She called, and suddenly every eye in the room swung to the door. Then it was a yelling competition, every child in the room calling over each other, asking to pee. Smiling woman's face grew a shade paler, but her smile persevered.