･daddy issues ‧⁺ ഒ fuensack

V

❝even if i could,
i would never let you know.

so come with me;
i'll buy you a raincoat. ❞

➶

may the virgin bless you

this phrase rings in andy's head the second he walks in vic's room. something he had heard in and out of mass on sundays, but also something he never really believed in.

religious relics his mother never bothered to get rid of, now serving as decoration, rotted a top a dusty bookshelf. saint candles, cherry-red and lime-green added to the holy ambience.

vic loved candy. that's exactly what the candles reminded him of. stained glass that resembled ribbon candy.

balance and composure played through vic's radio as the two settled on his bed.

i fall down now
you left me feeling shameful.

forest green sheets felt smooth against andy's palms.

"tell me about your dad." andy breathed.
vic could feel his breath catch in his throat as his gaze locked with andy's. his heart seemed to skip a beat, knees giving way as he sat on his bed. it was the question andy had been avoiding the whole time they were friends. every time vic would invite him over, every sleepover. they spoke of anything and everything. everything except for that.

and for a minute, vic could hear the taunting of his own flesh and blood. the titters escaping cruel classmates. self-hatred only fueling the fire even more.

"it's okay. you're safe with me. i won't laugh." andy assured him. the usual rasp in his voice was gone completely; warmth seeping through his words as he spoke. there was no malicious intent in his voice, only a curiosity fueled by the desire to understand. andy wanted to understand vic the same way vic understood him.

"my dad." vic inhaled sharply. blinking slowly, he racked his brain for the memories he chose to block out. vic had always wondered when his dad stopped loving him. perhaps it was the moment when vic said he wanted to grow his hair out, or the time he came home wearing lynn's spare overalls—the one's that had a skirt instead of shorts. sometimes he could still feel the sting of angry palms across tear-soaked cheeks. maybe it was when vic came home and announced he loved boys just as much as the girls in his class.

"he doesn't like me. the way i dress, or how i act. he used to hit me. he told me he'd beat whatever it was i had out of me. then he left." vic continued. "he was never around to begin with, really. but when he was, he was mean. he never comes around anymore. i mean, i don't c-care but.. it hurts."

immediately, andy's face softened.
without thinking, andy wordlessly pulled vic into a hug. a shaky sigh escaped him with such force that it made his lungs hurt. with each breath, a memory left his head. it burned like hellfire—stinging his throat every time the light flashed behind his eyes.

"you didn't deserve that. i'm sorry." andy whispered.

andy was never good with words.
but vic didn't care. actions spoke louder than words.

the tiny boy buried his face in andy's neck; bony hands pulled him close.
kindred spirits finding solace within one another.

➳

the things we think we're missing.

andy stared at the cloudy glass showcasing evergreen forests. seattle rain. vic shook his head. he supposed stereotypes were true.
andy tilted his head, the raven haired boy turned to look at the brunette.

fragile azure met careful tawny.
quietly, he tucked his knees into his chest.

the rain was relentless, beating down against fogged glass.
"do you ever think about your future?" andy managed to spit out. they were silent for most of the night. up until now. he blinked softly before playing with a loose string on his sweatpants.

"i think about it a lot." the brunette replied gently. "it's confusing, but promising."
though the past pained him, vic knew there was something more, something better ahead of him. giving him a small smile, vic scooted closer to the taller boy.

tangled in his own thoughts, andy mindlessly returned the gesture. the way andy's left eyebrow raised when he smiled caused vic to laugh.

"i hope i'm in your future." andy uttered wistfully.
"we're best friends. of course you're gonna be in my future."
vic's voice was reassuring—filled with the kind of love people died searching for.

bravely, andy reached out to brush messy curls off his forehead.
"mind if i sleep up here tonight?"
"i'd like that."