･daddy issues ‧⁺ ഒ fuensack

V I I

❝i've been smoking too much lately,
i can feel it on my chest

but i'll stand in the garden with you. ❞

➶

the chill of crisp december air
made a shiver crawl up his spine.

this month, or rather, the whole year had gone by so fast. andy could barely remember the following month. november passed by in a flurry. nothing mattered to him though, he was rarely stressed anymore. with vic, he had no worries. the lanky boy tugged his beanie farther down his head as he paced towards his best friend.

of course they had gone over to each other's houses. plenty of times. especially over the course of the past two months. they had sleepovers all the time, sometimes inviting oli or austin, one of vic's friends. nevertheless, andy still felt nervous asking. he feared being a bother, or being too clingy. it was starting to get different. vic found his way into andy's thoughts more frequently, drawing pictures in his head. warmth. joy. the sensation he got by just being around vic was indescribable. and to be honest, it scared him. andy gets too attached far too quickly. hopeless romantic; a trope that came to him naturally.

i don't like him.

"took you long enough!" vic whined as andy approached him.
"i did not! you take longer than me!" andy retorted, shoving the considerably shorter boy.
"then why am i here waiting for you?" vic smirked before placing a balled up fist on his hip.
"you got me there." andy giggled, putting his hands up in defeat.

"hmph. damn right." vic grumbled before flashing a smile at the blue-eyed boy. andy slapped the back of his head, causing him to shout. this was normal. the 'fighting', poking fun at each-other while walking home. andy would always walk vic home, or vice-versa. as the two approached andy's block, he tried to work up the courage to ask. again. his anxiety got the best of him almost every day.

"do you wanna c-come over?" andy stammered. stuttering again. oh, he loathed it. the anxious boy looked down at his boots.
talk normally, he ordered himself. clearing his throat, he raised his voice slightly.
"we can watch a movie. my mom's making l-lasagna."
"can i? my legs are cold."

➼

it was a certain song. or perhaps a phrase or a word belonging to someone else he knew, someplace else. one or maybe all of these things would put him into a state of mind—one he couldn't describe. surely he developed it after his father passed. the empty office room in his house, the missing body on the couch; all still foreign to him.

navigating his home was like walking through some twisted maze. being watchful of dead-ends. avoiding the land mines. a carefully crafted routine was what he developed. dancing around anything and everything that could trigger the dam to burst. and by dam, andy meant the feelings he bottled up.

so keeping his ritual, his fingertips brushed up against the drywall as he walked along the third hallway of the house, each step purposely avoiding the scratches his cousins made when they were 6, flicking the light switch twice before entering the room. silently, he hoped vic wouldn't comment on it. but when he opened the door fully he noticed that the brunette wasn't there. relief flooded in him. inhaling deeply, andy felt the tightness in his chest give way.

one less thing to worry about, andy thought to himself.
it wasn't uncommon for vic to wander around andy's house. andy often found him talking to his mom, or in garden outside looking at the marigolds and snapdragons they planted.

settling on the bed, andy gave a long huff.
on nights like these, andy usually stayed awake long past the time he allowed himself too, pondering on things that he should've said, should've done. kicking up his feet, he rested them on the wall next to his bed. of course he couldn't do that tonight and it's not like he really wanted to anyways. he had vic and that's all he needed.

vic had a smile that could light up the whole town. speaking of the spirit, the tiny boy had just walked in. his footsteps were barely audible, muffled by his socks. fuzzy and baby pink. they reminded andy of the night kellin stole a pair from his sister after he stomped in puddle and wet the both of their shoes.

"your mom made us hot chocolate." vic exclaimed cheerily. his hands were full.
two mugs; one small and shaped like a bear, the other white with a pair of whiskers scrawled on the front. andy drew the very thing on the cup in the first grade. his mom had always made him hot chocolate in that cup. the fact that she still did it made him smile. vic pushed that mug towards him.

"just what i needed. i'm kinda cold." andy laughed as he shot up, moving his legs off of the wall. he smiled as he took ahold of the mug. "c'mon, join me. i'm contemplating life." andy motioned to the bed, patting a spot next to him.
"deep." vic snickered. he plopped himself on the bed next to andy.
"nah, just pretentious."

vic's skirt rode up, showing off honey-kissed thighs. with his free hand, he yanked the plaid fabric down. the colors or articles of clothing vic wore never bothered andy. clothing was self-expression, of course he wouldn't care. anyways, they suited the brunette. hell, he would never say it out loud but andy thought vic was absolutely adorable.

andy took a sip of his drink. whipped cream hit his tongue first, cool and sweet. the rich liquid warmed his throat, making him let out a satisfied groan. vic let out a small laugh before mumbling something like 'you fat ass' to the other boy.

the fabric creeped up again as vic adjusted himself on the bed. andy's eyes flickered downwards for a moment as he set his mug onto the floor.

a light blush fell over andy's cheeks. oh god, don't look. why are you blushing? you're so weird. they're just legs.

but they weren't just legs. they were vic's thighs. soft and small and pretty. well, everything about him was pretty.
pretty? oh no. oli's words were getting to him.
i don't like vic!

"caught you staring." vic snapped andy out of his daze. andy jumped, a mewl escaping his lips as he realized what he was doing.
"i wasn't staring." andy mumbled defensively. but he was. cobalt-blue eyes fixated on vic's chest because he was so afraid of looking down..and up. "i was reading your shirt. it looks familiar."
nice save, andy thought.

vic was wearing one of andy's sweatshirt, far too big on his small frame. burgundy with the entirety of hamlet's soliloquy printed in italicized text.
"it looks familiar cause' it's yours." vic giggled.
"you took my sweater?!" andy gasped. "why?" he added.
"it smells like you. i took it from your locker this morning." vic shrugged.

"you took it cause it smells like me?" andy breathed. he was utterly stupefied. vic wanted to wear it?
vic inched in closer. his face was now centimeters away from andy's.
"you smell good!" the brunette laughed. "plus it's comfy."

they were close, this was obvious. i mean, they did sleep together. but it wasn't strange to them. it was innocent.
they were comfortable with each other, and that's exactly what vic loved. still, the fact made andy blush. frustration set in as color rushed to his face, washing the usually pale skin with a rosy pink.

"i smell like ass." andy grunted. vic bursted with laughter, falling back onto the bed.
"that was so lame. i'm sorry you have to deal with my bullshit. i'm not funny."
ironically, andy let out a chuckle. he couldn't help but laugh at his own expense.
what kind of stupid ass joke was that?
god, you're so corny.

"well i think you're cool." vic grinned. his voice softened to a gentle hush.
the simplicity of vic's words. the inflection of his voice and the warm, loving smile casted on his face made all the air leave andy's lungs. andy let himself smile. a big, toothy grin that showed off his slight overbite and the crinkles around his eyes.
"then that's all that matters."

he craved something more. something tangible, yet more than human. more than life as he knew it.
perhaps that was vic.