Ashton's POV
so today my therapist told me I should start to put my feelings down into a diary. Although I prefer to call it a journal because diaries are for girls and I am a very manly man, okay so maybe I'm a very feminine man but still.
I guess I should start from the beginning, well it all started when night when mummy irwin and daddy irwin.. Okay so not that far back.
My name is Ashton Fletcher Irwin, I'm 17 years of age and I have depression anxiety, anorexia and I self harm and am suicidal. Today was my 3rd session of therapy and I decided it's going to be my last because I don't want to talk to some random stranger about my problems, but I guess I'll do this "journal" shit. I guess you probably want to know how I became to be this way, actually you probably aren't wondering because who gives a fuck about me, but anyways, it all started on my 11th birthday, my mum sister brother and I were all going on a car trip, my dad couldn't come because work. It was all going so well and I was loving life but then we got into a terrible car accident, killing everyone except me. My dad was still a caring dad after that, just a bit more quiet and sometimes a bit sad, but I still loved him and he still loved me. Until of course when I ruined everything at the age of 14 telling him that I was gay. "YOURE WHAT" he yelled "I'm sorry dad, I'm gay" I whispered, and with that he bashed me, giving me a black eye and a broken nose, so from now on my dad abuses me, I also get bullied at school because I told my only friend that I was gay and he told everyone so I get bullied and I literally have NO friends, there's not even people giving me sympathetic looks like there is in the movies, nope, none of that. I literally have nothing to live for, I've already attempted suicide 3 times but there's something stopping me from doing it a 4th, oh that's right, it's because of the one and only Luke Hemmings who strolled into my life today. It started in 1st period, it was maths with mr Hayes, usually in the movies that depressed bullied guy is also the nerd, but I wasn't, If only I was a nerd, because then I would at least be smart, but no of course I'm dumb. Anyways, Mr Hayes was going on about some hard maths problem when someone walked in. "Ahh you must be Luke, the new student" Mr Hayes said, "what are you talking about my name's Fred" Luke said flashing a cheeky smile, "haha right then "Fred" take a seat. Mr Hayes said. Luke went to take a seat and I swear oh my god he was coming towards me, oh my god he's going to sit next to me, oh my god he had gorgeous blue eyes, my heart was beating 1 million miles per hour, and just as he was about to sit down someone yelled "DONT SIT NEXT TO THAT FAG, COME SIT WITH ME" Luke winced at his use of words ( I think ) and gave me what I think was a sympathetic look, and went and sat with Jonnys gang, aka the people who bash me all the time. I sighed to myself and got on with the rest of my day as look hung out with the cool gang. I got home and was lucky that my dad was at some bar probably and went to my bathroom to find the blade, but something stopped me from pressing the blade to my skin, Luke's face popped into my mind, and even though he may not like me, his beautiful eyes were enough to stop me from harming myself just this once. So I went to bed and fell asleep thinking of no one other than Mr Luke Hemmings.
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Fix You Lashton Fanfic
FanfictionAshton's depressed, he's in so much physical and mental pain, that he doesn't know how much longer he can take it, until one day Luke comes into his life, and maybe, just maybe, Luke will be able to fix Ashton.
