In The Band » [mc + ai]

Chapter 8

TRIGGER WARNING ;

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Ashton P.O.V.

      "Why does he think I'm pathetic?" I thought to myself as I sobbed in the bathroom. I couldn't take the thoughts that were filling my head, so I had to get away from everyone. That's how I ended up with my knees tucked to my chest crying in the corner of a bathroom stall. Niall had texted me asking if I was still around, I didn't reply because I couldn't do anything but think of him. I just don't understand why he hates me, maybe its something more. Yeah something more. Mom used to tell me when I was younger the reason the girls in my class picked at me was becasue they liked me, and didn't know how else to show it. Maybe that's what's wrong with Michael, right? Maybe he just didn't know how to show it yet. I think I could help him, I want to help him.

"Fuck!" I heard someone mumble. I guess I was too deep in thought to notice someone else was in the bathroom. I heard rustling and the sound of a zipper being undone, just some bloke taking a piss. I waited to hear the trickle, but that never happend. I leaned an ear against the stall wall and listened: totally not creepy, just curious. Whoever this was; was breathing long shaky breaths, wincing and letting out low moans. Either someone was getting a bj or someone wanted to let loose. I peeked under the stall to see what was on the otherside. Michael. He had tears streaming down his cheeks and blood pooled on his thighs. I quickly got up and went to the door of his stall.

"Michael" I tapped on the door lightly hoping not to startle him in case he was in the act. When he didn't answer I got worried. What if he hadn't just cut his thighs? What if he was- no don't think like that. "Michael" My voice shaky and flat, I hadn't realized I'd started crying.

Still no answer. I pushed on the door hoping that I could find some kind of strength to bust this door down. I leaned against it and pushed, easier then I had thought because it was unlocked. Michael was rolled up at his knees and crying quietly. "Michael" I said again hoping to get some sort of response from him. He looked up at me and his eyes were much like my own, tired and sad. "Ashton" He croaked out voice almost inaudible.

Without any word I sat down next to him on the floor. "I saw the blood" I whisper fidling with my hands. "So" He said coldy. "Why do you do it?" I say looking at him. "It's none of your business and even if I told you; you wouldn't care." He said turning to meet my hazel eyes with his green ones. "But the thing is Michael your so wrong because I do care, I care so much. All I do is care about you, everything you say or do effects me." I say hoping he'll understand. "I've lost count" He says shakily. I raise an eyebrow at him and duck my head to.meet his sunken gaze. "Lost count of what Mikey?" Rubbing circles in his back to try and ease some of the stress and pain and any other ungodly emotion he was feeling.

A small blush crawls to his cheeks and the corner of his mouth turn upwards slightly, fading almost instantly. "I've lost count of why I do this, hurt myself" He sighs as tears swell in his eyes. "I used to do it because, I thought I deserved it. I thought I deserved to hurt. Dad always told me I was the reason Mom left, because she couldn't stand to look at a fag. Then I did it because I wasn't good enough, because no one loves me. And now I'm not sure, it's like a pain reliever. My own form of prescription" He chuckled weakly at the last bit. "Michael I'm sorry" I say wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

"There's no need to be" He says leaning his head against my arm. I knew he hated people feeling pity on him, but I just felt like I wanted to help him and tell him everything was gonna be okay. So I did just that, kinda. I pulled together what courage and strength I had left and connected our lips. He was resistant at first but quickly melted against my lips and kissed back. It was slow and passoniate, just like I hoped. We continued like this for a while; gently tugging at each others bottom lip, but soon disconnecting because oxygen is essential. Trying to regain our breathing, I leaned my forehead against his.

"Let me help you"

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ooh Ashton... ! whatcha doin there buddy? This is like a well over due update. sorry. but omg Ash what you thinkin kissing boys like that ! ? ! ?

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CQ:

1. Have you guys heard the 5SOS 'American Idiot' cover?

2. Have you guys seen Calum's new tattoo?

p.s. if you haven't, you need to. omg it's so dang good.

Also if you have a tumblr comment below so I can follow bc I need more blogs to follow. my tumblr is: hoodzain so ya know follow if you want. While your there could you guys check out my 'BATTLE OF THE BANDS' preference that I wrote. It'd be super cool if you did, but only if you want to :)

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Thanks fo reading lovelies. comment, vote, give suggestions. ly ♡