Curse named human

Curse named human - Part 02 / 40

A/N:  Sign explanation: "......" => speaking, '.......' => thinking, ^.....^ => speaking with somebody the mental way or reading thoughts

Songs to this chapter: 02 – An Angel's Nightmare

 † Curse named human †

  [(ke:s neimd 'hju:men)]

   Part 02

  Deep out of the depths you called for me

"You went through a lot of suffering until you arrived here."

It was a warm, deep voice talking to Toshiya but he couldn't really make out if it was in his head or somewhere else around him. He felt like lying somewhere, comfortable though. Maybe it was a room but yet he couldn't really feel how he used to feel. Something was different. Somehow he felt very strange and not really complete.

His senses were different too. He sensed on another level, deeper and different. Everything was strange from what he used to know, what he was and used to feel.... Was?... Toshiya thought in past tense. There must have been something some time ago but yet he couldn't even make out time. There had to be an explanation for all this, something to explain at least. He felt confused.

"I will grant you as much time as you need." The strange voice again.

Toshiya felt the urge to open his eyes. He had to know where he was, who was talking to him. But all he could see was darkness. Something like an inner urge told him to move, stretch out his hands, moving his legs, breathing in and out but he didn't feel anything. He existed in a way he couldn't explain to himself. All this made no sense to him. Slowly he felt captured in something so much bigger than himself that he started to panic.

'Escape! Let me escape from this place! Everything is so dark! Without color, without meaning, without life!'

"You came back to us. Be strong and wake up."

'What are you talking about? I don't know what you mean! Is this a riddle?' Toshiya thought but the other creature answered nevertheless.

"For some beings life is a riddle but for those who understand it has been an experienced learn-procession of their souls."

Now Toshiya felt even more confused. If there was a thing like going crazy he was sure to feel this way right now. He felt like a riddle and the voice next to him spoke in riddles too.

"You have to remember. Remember who you are, remember where you have been, remember what you have been."

Suddenly Toshiya felt his mind getting carried away. He was changing place. If there was a structure like time he felt like going backwards. It all happened automatically.

"Now try to see, look."

He felt as if a warm wave went through his soul and then there was light. He had changed from dark into light. Slowly he made out colors and then he saw a world where different beings and things were living in. Words crossed his mind, feelings and emotions and in the same moment he felt like coming back into a physical body. He moved. Legs, hands but yet he didn't touch anything. He couldn't. Grass. He was standing on grass but it wasn't like he used to know it. He seemed to be here to see, to observe. What was about to come next?

Slowly he got used to the feeling to 'see' again and remember things with their names. The grass he was standing on, a tree, the sky, sunlight... somehow it was so special to him to recognize these things again... To him it felt like he hadn't been in any state of existing for a very long time. He must have been somewhere else but right now everything was just confusing. In reflex his spiritual body turned around and he looked at a big nice house.