Curse named human

Curse named human - Part 37 / 40

† Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd 'hju:men)]

Part 37

The Last Chapter

2 of 5

Hakuei and Toshiya

~ Afterlife ~

Hakuei sat in zazen on the temple's terrace, meditating. His legs crossed on one large cushion and his fingers were entangled. His eyes were closed and his head stiff and concentrated... or so it seemed to the outside. Zazen was a technique to forget about all judgments, words and thoughts of the day. Normally.

Again he saw Toshiya's face, the eyes which searched for him, plead him to tell him something about his parents... it was not that Hakuei didn't know about them.... This pleading eyes... He wanted to forget about them and about the past... the blood stained past.... The sins they had all committed these days. He had to atone for what happened these days and after all this years of meditating and asking about the sense of life, he was slowly on his way to make peace with himself and to accept that things happened and cannot be undone.

That's when he came along.

Just before Hakuei was almost able to sleep a whole night without dreams and thoughts.... He had to come along.

Hakuei furrowed his brows and his position shifted and became unsteady. Thankfully another monk reminded him to sit straight with a beat of a long bamboo stick on his shoulder. Oh, how he hated this practice... but it taught him humbleness and patience. Two virtues he hadn't possessed 24 years ago...

A loud gong chimed from the bell outside and the meditating practice this midday was over. The monks stood up to prepare their evening tea. Hakuei followed the monks outside the temple to walk back into the other temple when he overheard a low conversation from passing monks.

"... I've seen him before."

"Me too. Wonder why he keeps coming..."

Only by the pieces of their conversation, Hakuei had an inkling whom they were talking about. Hakuei turned around to look at the back entrance gate and in the distance he found a meanwhile familiar silhouette leaning against the side of the wall. Hakuei paused. Maybe he should just ignore him and pretend as if he saw nothing. But on the other hand Toshiya's visits already caused attention of his fellow monks... he couldn't ignore him even if he wanted to.

With a lowered head he walked slowly towards the gate. He felt Toshiya lifting his head and staring at him from under his long strands of hair. Hakuei stopped in front of the iron bars but didn't open the gate. "It's impossible for you to come here just like you please. The other monks already noticed you coming here all the time..."

"Then meet me outside."

Hakuei hissed in disbelieve. "This is not a vacation resort where you can leave as you please..."

"I know but isn't there any chance-"

"Even if there would be, I decline."

Toshiya moved away from his leaning position and turned against the iron bars to hold them tight with his hands. So tight that his knuckles turned white and his stare became serious and dark. Hakuei never saw him like that before.

"Imagine you are 28 years old and one important part of your memories is completely deleted. And now one stranger shows up and he seems to know something about the family which was almost completely extinguished years ago. Unfortunately this essential memory was the forgotten part no one seems to be able to restore... what would you do?!"