Thoughts

Does Anyone Care

Sometimes i think that if one day i didn't wake up no one would care that i was no longer alive, maybe they would even be happy about me no longer being a part of this world or their lives. I mean they think I am the one and only devil. Everyone always says 'Oh, it will stop soon' but it never does. I have had to deal with people bullying me for so many years. I don't know why everyone thinks I am such a horrible person, I mean if they took the time to get to know me maybe they would figure out that I am not such a bad person. J took the time to get to know me and he told me he doesn't get why people say horrible things about me. I feel like anyone who knew me before eighth grade just believes that I will always be that person no matter what. I mean no one knows what it's like behind my eyes or behind the mask that I always have up. And it has gotten worse now because J cut me out and won't tell me why even though he told me he never would which really hurts he also told my ex best friends who I set him up with that I was bad mouthing her to him which I wasn't and that caused her to tell everyone every secret I had even told he even the one about me liking J. I know that this in nothing compared to what others are going through but it really hurts because everyone thinks and treats me like I am this beast which I'm not and it really hurts that they all think that and make others think that as well causing them to hate me for something i never did