Ageless

Anchors Away

It was a crisp morning, all the birds sang except those caged as pets by some of the other passengers. The dock was heavy in population as families waved goodbye to their loved ones. They were smiling, waving, yelling. They knew their loves would return to them.

Lilly wished she could have done the same, her loss was more of a death. Only the sailor and his wife had come to see her departure, but neither of them smiled and waved. Their faces were grave as they said goodbye, and her heart was torn. This would be the last time she sees them in person.

By the next time she returns to this place, they will have been aged or gone. Although there was much to say, their words of farewell were abrupt by a low but loud horn. With a soft kiss on the cheek, Harvey handed over her baggage and an envelope. She moved her hand to open it, but his touch beckoned her not to. She tucked it into the fold of her beige dress.

     She stared down between the slits of the white-painted metal ramp which lead into the dark of the ship. With a nod to the workman and a transfer of her pass she headed into the dark. The hallways were dimly lit for the lesser fortunate. After speaking to several people and taking the stairs up to the next deck, she found her way.

     Her room was small, but the ship was sturdy. The walls were covered in white paint while the only light flooded from a small port hole on the far wall. An older looking woman wrapped her son in his ragged coat and nodded to Lilly as she left the room with her belongings already taking up one set of bunks. Lilly searched the wall for a switch and flipped it, bringing more light in from a small fixture glued to the ceiling.

The oak vibrated beneath her feet as the engines sprang to life and the walls hummed with excitement. The Sirene took sail across the open sea and the land which held her past heartache faded on the horizon. As it shrunk in her eyes, she began to wonder why it had been so hard to leave before. It is only a place.

     For two weeks she had done nothing but stare off into the sea from the upper deck, trying to remember all of those whom have passed. Trying to remember the good. She stayed this way until a woman had noticed her lonesome gaze and approached her. Without saying a word, the lady handed her a pad of paper and a stick of charcoal which darkened her palm.

      "Leaving for a new start eh?" She spoke softly.

     Lilly glanced at her confused, but nodded.

     "Well, when I have heartaches, I like to write. Some people like to draw. Sometimes the saddest of things are the most beautiful."

      "You are not wrong, but they can be just as ugly." Lilly protested

     "Look at the rain, the sad lone notes of a piano, the dew falling off a flower or broken glass." The bright-eyed woman looked out to the sea.

      "How could something sad be beautiful?"

     "Even when glass is broken, it still shines. Just like with a heartache could come a new beginning someplace else."

     The woman took the paper and began to draw what looked like an empty table in the corner of a café. In the back of her mind, Lilly could imagine it covered in dust, abandoned, eventually broken. But it has beauty in memories, spills, laughs and drunken men.

     While sailing across the Atlantic, she had soon learned how to draw. Her private tutor would meet with her in the same place every day, letting her have a go at the paper. Sometimes they would practice sad poetry, sometimes they would sketch a dead joy, but it was beauty.

      While the sorrow bled into the pages, Lilly smiled. By the time they reached mid-sea, the air had turned cold, but the ship stayed warm. The woman had convinced her to come to the soirée, a celebration in being closer to America than England.

     Lilly was brought to the woman's room, one filled with gold and art. The artist supplied her with a formal yellow dress and placed a diamond on her neck. The long ruffled skirt reminded her of the many dresses she had worn before the mishap with Wesley. Yellow had always been a color her mother took liking to.

"Dressing up," the woman spoke, "gowns and diamonds seem to suit you."

"Perhaps someday my life will turn and this will be all I wear," Lilly replied in a soft tone.

"Keep your chin up, it will come. With the art skills I've shown you, you could use it to get somewhere in life." They stood back from a canvas, admiring a portrait of the woman.

Lilly thought to herself that she could relate to it, the work of art, for paintings are moments frozen in time. She thought it was strange how a painting could catch a moment but live for one hundred as it is. 'A work of art so pure must be painted with good thought,' she reminded herself, 'the dark arts are beautiful, but you must stay light.'

"Well, come now. We have a ball to get to."

•••

The grand hall was heavily decorated in red and gold; even though the flowers were fake, their aroma still lifting the room in a buzz of small talk and the clashes of silver. The long sad notes of a bass played somewhere amongst the crowd only to soon be joined by the bounce of a violinist.

Most dancers wore smiles on their faces, accompanied by tall men and lace. This ball was not like those of the Victorian Era, each individual pair had their own step to this waltz.

Lilly stood in silence for a moment to admire the golden lighted atmosphere, but a nudge of her companions elbow caught her attention.

"Find yourself a one night man, Lilly. It'll do no harm to have some fun."

With a wink, the women's beige dress disappeared into the sea of dancers, following he hand of a tall, bearded, man in in a top hat.

Lilly glanced around the room curiously, walking past the table of pastries to stand before the musicians. For a while she leaned against the marble column and enjoyed it's sound, however she did not take the woman's advice. Few men did ask for her hand to dance, but none to her liking.

She knew how these things went. They dance with someone, and they expect to sneak away into dark privacy. She knew men.

After quite some time, the commotion had quieted down at the sound of a knife on glass. The captain of the ship stepped upwards onto the staircase, thanking his guests for choosing his fine vessel for their journey.

"This marks our journey to be halfway through, I would like to raise a toast to safe travel and pray the rest of the way be like it was."

Lilly rose a slim glass of pink champagne to the air and brought the gold rim to her lip, letting the tasteless liquid linger in her mouth a moment before swallowing. She set her glass down on a passing silver tray, for it gave her no pleasure.

Outside the large panes of glass the stars began to fade and disappear behind a sea of grey which swarmed the sky. The world begun to grow a shade darker with every passing note of piano that echoed through the halls of the ship.