Your Girlfriend Side Story: I Smile ✓

반드시 웃는다

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‘It’s been a while
I didn’t think you’d call first
“If you’re free,
Let’s meet up”
How can I say no to that?
It’s half excitement,
Half fear
Because what if
You notice
That I still miss you?
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But today, I smile
Even though it hurts, I smile
In front of you
I pretend that I’m fine
I pretend that I’m okay
I have to
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I smile, I smile
So once in a while
We can meet with a smile
I must smile, I smile
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You’re the same
Your smile is still so pretty’
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I can't believe, after almost a month, Yoonji called me and asked me to meet up. Can you imagine how happy I was? Although she might only think of me as a good friend now, at least I can see her.
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I was so excited, happy but also worried at the same time. What if she notice that I still have feelings for her? What if she know that I still miss her? What if…
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My thoughts faded away the seconds I saw her smile as she waved at me. Her smile is still so pretty.
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But then, my heart fell the moment I saw her laying weakly on the floor. A car hit her.
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“YOONJI!!!!”
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In front of my eyes, the love of my life fall on the ground, bleeding, unconscious.
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I did everything I can, I was so terrified but luckily the ambulance coming soon and we can send her to hospital as soon as possible.
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Never in my life I feel so scare and useless. I was going back and forth in front of her OR. 10 minutes ago, I just gave her my blood after the doctor told me she lost lots of blood, and without thinking twice, I gave mine.
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I'll give my whole life if it could bring her back. I can't lose her.
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‘Really
If I could
I’d ask you
To come back to me
Right away

But today, I smile
Even though it hurts, I smile
In front of you
I pretend that I’m fine
I pretend that I’m okay
I have to

I smile, I smile
So once in a while
We can meet with a smile
I must smile, I smile

After we say goodbye
My smile will disappear

But today, I smile
Even though it hurts, I smile
Until the end
I pretend that I’m fine
I pretend that I’m okay
I have to’
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Yoonji is still unconscious even though her operation was succeeded. The doctor said her condition is good so far, but we still have to wait until she awake.
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I tried my best to visit her as much as I can. Haneul, her close friend told me that Taehyung is currently overseas, so I wanted to use this chance to be with her as long as possible.
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This is wrong and I feel so pathetic but I can't help it.
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“Yoonji, if only you can hear me. I still want you, come back to me. Please come back to me, I still love you.” I'd tell her while holding her hand beside her bed.
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I brushed off her hair slowly and kiss her forehead. Most of the time, I'll fall a sleep beside her and wake up at dawn only to face her sleeping figure, but I didn’t mind. As long as it's with her.

---

It was another day of visiting her, when I heard a conversation coming from her room.
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“That's right. Luckily she received the blood in time, thanks to her boyfriend who gave his blood for her.” the nurse said, when I was right behind the door.
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Take a peek, I saw him.
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“Boyfriend?” Kim Taehyung, confusedly asked.
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“Oh, I'm sorry if I talked too much. Maybe she didn’t tell you about his boyfriend yet. Usually girls don't tell about their boyfriend to their older brother. So I understand her.” The nurse added, I smirk but it's not funny for Taehyung.
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Of course he wouldn't be happy, finding out someone noticing me as Yoonji's boyfriend
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“I'm sorry, but I AM her boyfriend. Who's that guy you talked about??”
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“Y-you're her boyfriend? Then why he's the one who has been here sinc-” the nurse were surprised but immediately stop once the doctor cut her off.
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“I'm sorry, maybe she just mistaken him as her boyfriend. We're-”
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“It's not their fault. It's your fault to not be here with her all the time.” my sudden presence catch Taehyung's attention as he turn to me, unpleased.
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“What are you doing here?” He asked me after the nurse and doctor left. He was glaring, obviously not happy with my appearance.
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“I've been coming here everyday since she got into accident, why? I can't come here anymore?” I chuckles.
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“First of all, thanks for everything you did to MY GIRLFRIEND. Second of all, I'm here by now. So you don't need to worry and spend your time in here anymore.” He replied and purposely emphasize the ‘my girlfriend’ word looking all serious, makes me pissed but I just chuckles.
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“Yes, you're here now. Until when? Tonight? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow? Next week? Next month?” I scoff before continue. “At the end you'll leave her all alone. Just give up, Kim Taehyung. You won't win over me to be by her side all the time.”
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I become a bit emotional, thinking about how he left her most of the time. She have to be alone dealing with all shits and she doesn't deserve to be alone!
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“Yeah, I know that I'm not always here all the time for her, I admit it, I lost it. But you know what I won over you?” Taehyung smile and took a step closer to me. “I'm the one she love, not you and that's for sure. Now, can you just leave me and my girlfriend for now? I want some private time with her. ”
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He was smiling while I feel mad, hurted and lost in words. He's right, her heart is no longer with me.
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“And please stop using any little chance to get her back, you know you will never get her back. Ever.” with that last word, he push me backwards on my shoulder with his point finger.
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“Should I show you the way out?” He continue asking sarcastically when I didn't move yet. I was still lost in his words.
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“No need. I can leave with my own. Don't be happy too fast. I'll come back even before you notice it.” and with that I turn around and leave the room.
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Why should I said that ?
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‘I smile, I smile
So once in a while
We can meet with a smile
I must smile, I smile.’
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Even without you here, I smile.
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