Just Another Deal...

My Final Tear

Yay update~😁...Ugh I'm in a funk and not just on the fics I'm writing I'm in a funk in My life. Maybe I'm over thinking things too much as I tend to do. (T_T) rn I'm only venting, sorry for the slow update but I needed inspiration for it.

Being shook awake I unwillingly pry my eyes open. I see Ford over me smiling "tired?" He chuckles. I nod my head sluggishly "well how bout you eat something first". Getting out of my gruncles old car I can't argue to that I'm absolutely famished. Food sounds like a godsend, I slam my side door shut and follow my gruncles inside. Once the door closes besides me I make a direct beeline to the kitchen. Raiding the fridge I decide to make a sandwich, and maybe some reheated soup.

Throwing a halfway decent looking sandwich I tear into it finally having more than just a few bites of something. I reheat the soup in the microwave and grab some juice. I hear the ding from the microwave and sit at the table. Scarfing down the food I could practically feel my stomach sigh with relief. I put the dishes in the sink and grab a bottle of water and shut the kitchen lights off. I start walking up the stairs until I hear the elevator make its struggle down to the basement.

The loud groaning of old and rusting joints fill the bottom half of the house. I'm curious, I really want to hear what there talking about. Biting my bottom lip in debate over what to do. I decide to let my gruncles have there talk, I'll talk to Ford about helping later. For now my brain is in need of rest, dont want to collapse on the stairs.

I stop at the door that separates me and Mabel, I'm torn to either go and sleep on the couch or to just Rip the metaphorical bandaid off and open the door. OK What if shes asleep already, prolonging the inevitable 'talk' a little longer. I open the door and slowly peek in the lights are off, that's good for me. Maybe I'm being a little coward about this but to me. This dysfunctional relationship that's developed between us is saddening and yet for some inane reason I've gotten used to it.

Using the last of my courage I push the door open and walk in.
Throwing my vest off I don't bother changing into more comfortable clothing. I feel the grime and dirt on my skin. I hate it and The first thing I'm doing when I get up is taking a bath, I walk to my side of the room climbing into my bed. Facing the wall staring at nothing the light of the moon giving a little light to the room, as my eyes adjust.

I hear shuffling behind me and the creaks of the rusted bed springs. "Dipper?..." Mabel's voice calls me soft and breaking through the darkness. I remain quiet for awhile unsure if I want to answer her now. The perpetual silence that follows is nerve-wracking. I sigh "...yes?" I reply it sounding terse "I.."she begins "I..I'm sorry..." I hear her sniffles as she breaks down. Her quiet cries fill the room, I don't react for awhile simply lying there staring at the wall. Sighing I sit, facing forward I still don't speak. "What for..." I ask testing her, my voice coming out sounding tired and sad to my ears.

Her cries become hushed and she speaks again "I... I'm so sorry...how I acted, what I said I...I dont know why... I did what I did". "I didn't mean it" Griping my blanket hard I grit my teeth, Excuses it's all sounds like an excuse. "Enough" I'm tired of hearing it "that's not a reason, you don't have one do you. Your selfish Mabel, you know why you did what you did then you expect me to forgive you when you cry and apoligize". I turn my head in her direction "how can I forgive you when you don't know why your saying sorry" she scrambles out of bed. "Dipper, I am sorry please you have to believe me".

At the edge of my bed she kneels, I feel her eyes on me and I don't acknowledge her. I know she's guilty but she's not sorry, and I'm tired of ďefending her and forgiving to easily. "Mabel..." she listens with rapt attention "I want you to really think, and to really figure out why your saying sorry" I turn away from her. "And if...if you really love me you'll figure it out" I don't speak any more and she pulls herself up and walks back to her bed. "You will forgive me right? I dont want to lose you I do know that dipper?..." She asks, I don't have an answer to that I don't know when...if I will. Throwing my head back on my bed turning to the wall. The tears I held back begin to leak out and I let them. I can't keep myself together anymore, it only hurts each time I think about it. Each time someone abandons me, betrays me, hurts me so callously. I'm tired of hanging on to what we were and what we had. At least it might change, because I'm not going to be the one that concedes to anything anymore.

Ok so I updated and uh hope you like it I don't want Mabel to be comletely hated and for her to have some sort of character development. She's selfish yes will she begin to curve those ways I don't know how yet. So tell me what do you think?