Just Another Deal...

Living in the Real World

Walking down the park sidewalk we both don't speak and disturb this shy and tentative outing. "You know?" Mabel says "for what its worth, I am sorry" she goes quiet "for?" I ask wanting this to continue "lots of things" she laughs a little "I guess for ignoring you..." we both walk in silence a little longer before I speak. "I don't know what to say...I guess I should say that it's alright?" She laughs "was that a question" kicking a rock absentmindedly. "I don't think you should be saying that, I get it you don't believe me" she says.

Making way for a bicyclist we keep walking, looking over at Mabel briefly I quickly return to looking at my shoes. What the hell should we even talk about? What did we used to talk about? It's been so long and I'm so unsure. If anything I'd rather be with bill even sweeping out the shack is better than this. Sighing "So what brought on this?" I say waving my arms not sure what I should be doing, I turn to face her " I mean I still want to try but why now? Is it because you don't have anyone to hang out with? Like what a last resort what even am I to you!? Trust me I got it last year, that I'm not your brother" The questions shoot out of my mouth, unfiltered and raw. All the anger and sadness I shoved away barades the front of my mind.

Looking at her tears I push back the urge to run away, "please don't cry, not now or here, you know you've done this before" I say not stopping the snide remarks as they keep on unrestrained, for once I don't stop and curb or censor some of the stuff I say.
I want them to sting and I want her to feel as they cut. Furiously rubbing the tears I feel, as they traitorously leak out.
Turning away I spit a bench and run over and sit. It shatters the fake happiness that we both tried to keep up.

Hearing her feet on the fallen leaves she sits beside on the other end. Was this a mistake? Is there anything left to build on? "Can we not?" I say. "You can but I don't want to, at least I won't give up until I've tried". Scoffing I turn to watch the people as they pass. "What's there even to try for? If you want to talk it out, let me tell you honestly, what do you even know about me? I don't know you either."

"I don't know dipper!? Anything please just share... what do you like? I like fashion. What's your favorite colour? Mines glitter." She stops and we both continue the silence, she's regained some breath. "I like to Read, and my favorite colour is blue" I say before I jump up and slowly walk away. I don't turn around but she quickly jumps up and runs to catch up. "What do you like to eat? I love Crépes!!" She yells beside me. We continue on like this for some time playing this continuous game of questions. While we both decided in our minds to ignore and deal with all our problems slowly, this needs time fix. As long as we both put some effort then maybe it could work out.

Alright I guess that was my conclusion. I decided to try post something for my works, I've wondering if I should continue this? I've just been thinking about alot of things. I know this isn't long but hope you like it.