When I almost lost it all

part 4

I'm not the only one!! i can't be!!! He won't be so sure and confident unless he already had someone else. How silly i am, how can i even expect him to be only mine after all to him we are just friends, the fact he insists on clarifying in every conversation we have. It's already a year and six months, if he had any feelings wouldn't he have shown'em
Wouldn't he be desperately longing for me like i'm longing for him? Wouldn't he want more? Apparently i'm the only one who's doomed to such agony and he seems to see nothing to feel nothing. The torture is all mine. These thoughts kept coming and coming whenever i talked to him invading my heart and soul killing every beautiful thing i ever felt destroying whatever happiness i had left. I tried to move away to create a distance but i couldn't force my heart i couldn't live a day without hearing his voice or seeing his smile i just couldn't imagine a minute without him. But that pain was so invasive it dug a black hole in my heart a hole so deep it pierced through me to the other side and the only thought controlling me was "some people are never meant for happiness."