Rachel came back to their apartment that night emotionless. She cried out all her tears and couldnt feel anything. She felt numb without him. She put on her pajamas and sat on the couch checking her phone every minute to see if Ross had called or texted her. She was starting to come to the realization that this wasn't going to work. After a while she dozed off and Monica snuck in to see her.
Monica saw her asleep on the couch and covered her up with a blanket when Rachel spoke.
"Ross?" I mumbled propping myself up on my elbows and rubbing my eyes.
"No honey it's me." Monica whispered.
"Oh yeah, Ross left me." I remembered. She figured she would probably just sleep her life away because then it didn't hurt so bad. The only time she figured she'd be happy was when she was asleep and those few seconds when you first wake up and don't recall earlier events. And then it hits you. It's like reliving the situation every morning.
"He used to cover me up.. that's why I thought it was him." I said quietly wrapping the blanket around me tighter.
"I just came to see how you were doing." She said sitting next to me where I was laying.
"You know.. I think I'm more mad than upset. I mean he knows exactly the kind of hell he's putting me through but he left anyway." I ranted
"He's just as hurt, Rach."
"No he's not. Because no matter what job I got offered I would stay with him and he left." I argued on the verge of tears again.
Just then my phone went off and I quickly grabbed it off the table and looked at it to see a text that read:
"I'm sure you're asleep right now so I didn't want to wake you. I'll call you in the morning. I love you babe."
I threw it back onto the table and grunted falling back onto the couch.
"Can you please just leave Mon." I asked knowing I had to do something very hard tonight.
"sure." she smiles and kisses my forehead before she leaves. Right then I pick up my phone and call Ross.
"Hey, baby I figured you'd be in bed by now." he answered
"No.. I was waiting up for you." I say sadly and squeeze my eyes tightly shut before continuing.
"This isn't going to work, Ross... " I whisper hating myself at this moment.
"Rach what are you saying?" he asked panicking.
"We need to break up... I miss you too much and I need to move on if we can't be together. It's just too hard for me I'm sorry."
"No no no Rach don't do this I love you!" he yelled into the phone
"if you really loved me so much you wouldn't have chosen a job over me even when I begged you to say."
He didn't say anything because he knew I was partly right.
"so we're not getting married then." He stated after a long pause.
"I guess not." I whispered and looked down at my hand.
I heard Ross mumble something and hang up. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but it had to be done.
