Finding Myself

Chapter 1

Tris P.O.V

Prologue

This year, I'm starting at a new school in Chicago and I have to tell you, I'm going to really miss Beverly Hills. Let me explain, the whole reason that my family is moving.

(Flashback)

A laugh at the funny joke Robert just made as we walk into the school hallways. As soon as the set of double doors shut behind us everyone stops what they're doing and diverts their attention to Robert. We look at each other confused. "What the hell is going on?" I ask Robert in confusion. "Don't ask me." He says shrugging his shoulders. We ignore the laughs we get and go to his locker to pick up his stuff. I drop all of my books once I see it. Oh God. On Robert's locker in black spray paint are the words, "gay, fag, loser" I think I even saw a "go kill yourself" there too. "H-how did they find out?" he asks me as tears well up in his eyes. "I don't know." I say sympathetically. I really don't know how anyone would've found out about this. I was the only person he told and I sure as hell didn't do this.

~Time Lapse to a week later~

Usually at the end of the day Robert and I meet at this bench and do our homework together. So after waiting for about 30 minutes for Robert to show, I start to get a little worried. I start walking around the whole school campus looking for him. Where the hell could he- oh shit. I run up to a bloody and beaten Robert and say, "Oh my God! Who did this to you!?" He slowly stands up and backs away from me. "It was Peter but it's not like you care." He retorts. What the hell is he going on about now. I think whoever beat him, hit him pretty good in the head. "Of course I care." I say. "Really?!?" he exclaims. "Because the only person I told about me being gay was you. I told you and I trusted you to not tell anyone else!" He says. "R-Robert I don't know what your talking about, I never told anyone." I say as I fight to hold back tears. "Why do I find that so hard to believe?" He says and walks off, ignoring the shouts I send his way. I can't believe he thinks that I did this to him. I thought we were best friends.

After a little while, I decide to go to his house to check up on him. I don't really want him home alone, I don't trust him after what's been happening a school this past week. All the shit people have been giving him about liking the same gender. When I knock on the door, there is no answer. Luckily the door is unlocked so I barge right in. "Robert! Robert where are you?" I shout with my voice echoing off the high ceilings of his rather large house. I run upstairs and hear silent cries come from the bathroom. I walk over and bang on the locked door, "Robert open up!" I say getting worried. "Just leave!" He says. "Robert what are you doing?" I ask as all these horrible thoughts start roaming through my head. "This is all your fault!" He shouts. "I trusted you and you told the whole school. Kids at school have been beating me up all week. I'm just tired of all this bullshit. I hate you and I never want to see you again or anyone for that matter." Crap! I start crying as I bang my fist harder into the door. "R-Robert op-pen this door right now!" I say. He doesn't respond. I no longer hear any thing. Okay, I'm going to do this. I run to the end of the hallway and try to but down the door but just end up severely injuring my shoulder. "What's going on up there?" Oh great! "Mr. Morgan!" I cry out. Roberts father comes running up the stairs and kneels down next to me where I sit, leaned against the door cupping my shoulder in pain with my hand. "What's wrong sweetheart?" he asks with a touch of concern in his voice. "R-Robert," I stutter. "break...door down...kill...himself." is all I manage between my sniffles. I move out of the way as Mr. Morgan kicks down the door to reveal a lifeless Robert laying on the bathroom floor.

I start crying hysterically as I realize that he's dead.

(End of flashback)

Ever since Robert died, I've been depressed I mean, he was my best friend practically family. I started cutting and my Mom found out. She went crazy and said that we needed to move, to many bad memories here. I gladly agreed.