poems from a girl who doesn't care (who also really cares)

erin

i love her
her long red hair
her blue-as-denim eyes
her love of art
her love of life
the kind of genuinely good human she is
the way she can just say
"fuck it"
and go on with her life
the way she just
doesn't give a single fuck
about what people have to say

she does not love me
not in the way that i love her
not in the least
i am jealous of her
i envy how she can look the other way
i hate that people care about her
even though i am one of them
i hate that she has a good life
i hate that she is actually living
i hate her life

i do not hate her
i hate her life
i hate that i am not a major part of it
i hate that she is so effortlessly beautiful
but i love her
i would do anything for her
she is just so good