Uphill Battle | Solby

Chapter Two

I was looking back over the comments on Downward Spiral and I honestly can't thank you all enough for the amazing support you're giving me. It means so much to me to know that my writing is appreciated.

You're all amazing!

***

He was running.

The hallways seemed endless as he ran and ran and ran, desperation and utter terror clogging his throat. His body begged him to stop but he pushed forwards. He wouldn't lose Sam.

Not again.

Finally he made it to the closed door, banging on it. It was locked, he couldn't get in. He scraped at the handle and bit back his cries of pain as his nails ripped off in his haste to open the door.

"SAM!" He screeched. "SAM!"

There was blood trickling out from under the door, pooling at his feet, sticky and hot. Colby was still screaming as the door melted into a red river and he was swept away.

He woke up.

His pillow was soaked with tears and sweat and his legs were trapped under a twisted sheet: evidence of his thrashing through the night. His alarm clock informed him it was two in the morning.

Colby sat up, wiping his face and breathing shakily. His throat was raw and aching yet he knew he hadn't been screaming. Someone would've woken him up if he had been screaming. He wouldn't be alone in a dark room with a fresh memory of blood and death if he'd been screaming.

Right?

Trembling, he fell out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom, turning on the tap and staring into the mirror. His blue eyes were haunted and red-rimmed. His face was pale and gaunt and it hit him for the first time that he looked traumatised.

He was, he supposed. Traumatised. Sam's downward spiral had scarred him and he wasn't sure if he could recover. He wasn't sure if Sam could recover. They were just boys, they weren't supposed to have the weight of the world on their shoulders. They were supposed to do stupid, life-endangering things and explore places that could get them killed. They were supposed to run from the cops just for clickbait. They were supposed to be young, strong and living, not tired, broken and barely making it through a day.

He splashed his face with water and turned off the tap. He didn't dare look back at the mirror. Instead, he trekked back to bed and curled up under the covers, taking deep breaths and trying to hold himself together. He just had to hold on for a few more hours then he could visit Brennen and talk to Sam and everything would be okay.

Colby gave up the pretence and cried himself blind.

***

"Please," he begged. "Don't leave me alone again."

Colby snorted cruelly and kissed Brennen. When he was finished, he met Sam's eyes and smirked. "You honestly think I came back for you? I left for a reason, Sammy, and just because you got a bit lonely...." he trailed off.

Sam choked on the tears. Red was streaming from his wrists. "See what you did?!" He yelled as Brennen and Colby turned away. "See what is happening to me?! It's because of you!"

"I don't care!" Colby sneered.

And Sam shattered.

He fell out of bed, sobbing and wheezing and choking as hot tears slid down his throats and down his face.

"I'm okay," he hissed out. "I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay."

He knew he wasn't, he hadn't been okay for a very long time, but Colby couldn't know that. Nobody could know.

He lay on the floor, staring up at the roof and gradually he calmed down, left with raw eyes and a runny nose. He could hear Colby across the hall, a cry seeping through the door.

Sam closed his eyes tightly and fought the impulse to run across and into the brunette's room. If Colby needed him, he would be there but Sam wouldn't come running. He shouldn't need to.

He waited, listening to the water rush through the pipes, hearing Colby crawl back into bed and sobbing. Neither of them would go back to sleep. They were too broken, too different from what they were.

Slowly, Sam sat up and reached for his phone. There was one person he could text. He hoped she was awake.

TO:
Kat: Kat.

FROM:
Kat: nightmare again?

TO:
Kat: I can't do this. I thought I'd be getting better.

FROM:
Kat: Have you spoken to Colby?

TO:
Kat: I can't.

FROM:
Kat: you can sam.

FROM:
Kat: Sam?

FROM:
Kat: I'm coming over.

He threw the phone across the room, wincing when he heard it crunch against the wall. It wouldn't break but it sounded bad. He curled up beside his bed, listening to the silence, until Kat walked in and held him.

But she wasn't Colby and Sam cried.