...Just The Way You Are... [COMPLETED]

I

It's early winter. The snow is falling, and there is a light breeze.

The sun is barely making an appearance. The sky is pale. One day there will fall enough snow to build snow men and have a snow ball fight with my loving boyfriend.

He is a lot taller than I am. He has black hair and has the most beautiful ice blue eyes. His lips are a light pink natural of course. He has a beauty spot on his left arm on his wrist. There is a tattoo he regrets but doesn't want to get removed. The tattoo is a little airplane. It is too cute for me.

He told me that he got it when he was only 16 and stupid. He ran away from home and came to live here in the town I grew up.

The town? Well that is a secret.

my whole life is planned, call it OCD if you will. I just feel that everything is better if it is organised. Your day is not as rushed, the evenings are neatly planned and can be rescheduled a bit to spend some time with loved ones. 

I work as a head of editing in a small book publishing business. He is working on his own business and plans to expand in the next few months. We don't talk much about work, we have a work and church agreement. Home is church we do not talk about work in this humble dwelling. Church also refers to going out on dates and scheduled lunches.  

We have date night every Friday. We go to a new place each time we go out and sometimes we even have to drive a few miles out of town to visit new and exiting places with great food that tastes so, so, so amazing. The plating, service and drinks are always the best of the best. 

While Gabe works on his architecture plans for the new building going up in town. I prepare dinner for the two of us. Curry chicken with traditional South African yellow rice, deep fried potato quarters and some country vegetables. What can I say, the way to a mans heart is through his stomach.

I set the dining table with a big plate and a small plate a fork and knife, serviette, salt and pepper with Gabes favorite chills souse, imported from a country that is still anonymous because I have not yet read the box it comes in.  

"Gabe dinner is ready!" I shout down the hall.

"Almost finished babe!" He shouts back.

"Hey babe. Don't make me come and get you in that room!" I shout pretending I'm really mad or something.

"Okay. No need to get so damn upset about it." He says softly.

"Hi love." Gabe says and walks over to me.

"Dinner smells delicious." he says and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

"The pleasure is all mine." I say and take a seat at my plate. 

We have a thing if the food is ready, Gabe always fills the plates with the food. Otherwise he never leaves that room with all his architecture drawings. This agreement was made after we moved in together a year and a half back. It has stuck and we do this every dinner I make. 

"How hungry are you babe?" Gabe asks me.

"Not that much." I say with a smile on my face. 

He fills my plate with food. He places my plate in front of me and fills his plate so that it looks like a mountain, of yellow flowers covering the surface. Placing the Chicken and vegetables on the side, and the mayonnaise souse over the rice. 

"Your turn to say Grace." I say to Gabe.

"Okay. Close your eyes. Dear heavenly father bless the hands that made this divine meal. Thank you for making my beautiful girlfriend and giving her these talents to cook me delicious food for the rest of my life. Amen."

Gabe takes my hand and kisses it before digging into the mountain of food on his plate.

After dinner I demand Gabe to wash the dishes, so that I can go take a scolding warm bath with some candles and bubble bath.

"Enjoy your bath!" Gabe shouts down the hall while washing the dishes.

"Thanks babe. See you later." I say casually.

I grab a fresh towel from the bedroom and head to the main bathroom in the main bedroom. I start filling the bath with water scolding of course. 

"Some bubbles."

I say to myself. I light the candles with matches. This makes me think about a movie I watched for a few minutes.

We have plenty of matches in our house.

We keep them on hand always

currently our favourite brand

is Ohio Blue Tip

though we used to prefer Diamond brand

that was before we discovered

Ohio Blue Tip matches

They are excellently packaged

Sturdy little boxes

With dark and light blue and white lables

With words lettered

In the shape of a megaphone

As if to say even louder to the world

It's one-and-a-half-inch soft pine stem

Capped by a grainy dark purple head

So sober and furious and stubbornly ready

To burst into flame

Lighting, perhaps the cigarette of the woman you love

For the first time

And it was never really the same after that

All this will we give you

That is what you gave me

I become the cigarette and you the match

Or I the match and you the cigarette

Blazing with the kisses that smoulder towards heaven 

The bath is ready! I almost get excited about the bath beeing ready. The bath water is burning my feet. It freaking hurts. I fight it and get in completely.

My body hurts. Abnormal hurt. Like as if I have cuts on my back. I try to reach but can't. I stand up and walk to the mirror.

"What the FUCK!" I shout in the bathroom.

"Babe is everything okay in there?" Gabe asks from the bedroom.

"No! It's not okay!"

"Whats wrong? Talk to me."

"Come in and look at this."

Gabe enters the bathroom. I cover myself and turn around before he sees my back.

"What is it?" Gabe ask.

"This." I say and turn around.

Gabe rushes over to me. I feel his cold hands touch my back where the cuts are made.

"What do you think I did? Or did someone do something to me?" I ask Gabe.

"Ashely I don't know, but I really think we need to get you to a hospital."

"No. It's fine. I can handle it." I say and turn to see his face.

I have never seen this face expression. It's between a smirk and a trying to be sad expression.