It had been three days since Jack had accidentally lost his hold, and yelled terrible things at Alex. He was worried sick. Not because of him not being there, But because of how he acted towards Jack. Flinching away, and not speaking, as if he'd hurt him. But he would never hurt Alex on purpose. Apparently Alex didn't know that..
"Lex, please.. I'm so sorry.. I'm so so sorry.." Jack begged, as he had been doing, but Alex didn't say a word.
~Alex~
It was three days since I had decided to stop talking to Jack. It killed me every second I pretended he wasn't there. I just wanted, more than anything to tell him I know he didn't mean it and just be back in his arms. But everything in my body was screaming that he did mean it, but my heart itself didn't believe he had meant what he said, though it played over and over in my mind, like endless torture.
*Flashback*
It was our last show for a few weeks, we had two weeks off to basically just fuck around and do whatever until our next show. Jack however, didn't seem too thrilled.
"Jacky?.. babe what's wrong? You've seemed rather down lately.." I said, worry completely visible in my voice as I wrapped my arms around him.
"Its nothing.." he assured, shrugging me off and walking towards the bathroom. I reached to him, lightly putting my hand on his shoulder.
"Baby plea-"
"Will you just shut up Alex! Good lord. Just stop! Why cant you just leave things alone! You gotta fuck around until you get the answer you want, is that it?" He screamed at me, and I backed away almost instantly, a little shocked and completely broken. See, Jack was a loud person, so him yelling was normal. But this.. This was absolutely not his normal. This was louder, meaner. He was so mad.. but I didn't even do anything.
"N-No, I just-"
"Save it, Gaskarth. You wanna know what's wrong? Do you really? I don't think you do. Because its you. You're what's wrong."
I felt tears stinging my eyes, but at the time, I couldn't find it in me to stop him. So I just stood there, letting them go as they pleased.
"I cant take it anymore! I'm so tired of having to stay by you 24/7 because I'm afraid if I leave to do anything you'll be dead when I get back! I cant take these stupid problems anymore. I just cant." He stood over me, yelling directly into my face. I couldn't really feel anything.. Just anger and sadness, so k decided to let them both take over.
"I'm sorry I'm so inconvenient for you. Believe me it isn't any better on this end! All I do is sit around and watch you drink your life away like its nothing. God Jack! Do you ever think before you speak? I guess its good that you told me how you felt. I wont be such a bother to you anymore. I wont so much as look at you." With everything built up inside of me, and wanting to hurt him like he'd hurt me, I turned around and started walking away.
"You know. Sometimes I wish you would've never came to find me that night. Maybe then I wouldn't be such a bother. Because I wouldn't even exist." I whispered, loud enough for him to hear, and then slammed the door. I proceeded to climb into Rian's bunk, instead of Jacks, push Zack out of the way, and cuddle as close as I could to Rian before I started completely crying my eyes out, they just looked at me confused. But he didn't ask. He just hugged me, and kept telling me it would be okay.
I woke up the next morning, I felt like complete shit, and looked the part. All I could hear was whispered yelling. Followed by someone leaving.I was hoping, when I jumped down from the bunk that it would be Jack that left. But I was far too wrong. I didn't know what to do, so I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in, then started searching for the one thing that I knew would make this pain go away.
-End flashback-
I wished I wouldn't have done what I did, the constant sting was the only reminder, as I drank myself to sleep that night. Questions unanswered, and thoughts gone. And it only made things worse.
Jack looked downright awful, and that made trying to stay from him all the more difficult. Then he just HAD to walk over to me, stumbling and half drunk. And sat beside me.
"Alex- no wait. Drink some of this." He said, handing me a bottle of tequila. I decided to go with the whatever attitude, and literally chugged half of the bottle. I was an extend light weight. So I was hammered pretty quickly. With nothing but fixing things in my mind, I moved a little closer to Jack.
"Al-Alex. Listen to me, okay" he slurred. I nodded and watched him quietly. He stood up and sat in front of me on the floor, taking my hand.
"What I said the other day was a total mistake, I was mad at myself, and at a few others, and decided to take it out on you. None of the things you think are problems, are problems to me. They're part of you. And I love.you. I love you so much. And I don't spend time with you because I'm scared. I do it because I like it. I like watching you do cute things and I like playing around and just being stupid and I love you so much and I'm so so sorry." He nodded, and immediately I pulled him to me and kissed him hard. I missed him so much. So so much. Even if I was drunk. I didn't care. I needed him.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
I couldn't keep them mad at eachother. I just couldn't ;-;
Word Count: 1002
