Broken Promises

Chapter Five

She was not there.

She was not in the forest.

I didn't know what to feel that moment. Part of me wanted her there, and though I kept convincing myself that the only reason why was the sketchpad... Man, I damn wanted her there with me. I have not a reason why, but I just wanted to. But part of me dreads her presence. I mean, what should I say? She always has me speechless anyway.

Plus, the forest is sacred to me. The mere thought of anybody knowing, even Julia, saddens me a hell lot. The forest isn't mine anymore. Somebody is aware. Someone would intrude. And if ever she invited anyone here... It would disappoint me, a lot. I hope not.

I was thinking about this when I wanted to draw. I really did. But the sketchpad was not there with me.

I stood up and began to explore the deeper part of the woods. I have never done this before. I was too engrossed in my sketchpad and the time to kill before the next class that I never thought of roaming around. Plus, the fear of what lurks beyond the oak tree scared me to death too, but now I was walking, walking, walking -- my senses on alert, my eyes drinking in the new scene, my instinct prodding me to go back, go back, go back -- you might get lost, you might not find your way back to school, you might wind up in some situation that you wish you never had to--

Slush, slush.

Water?

A lake?

I then noticed that the rocks under my feet were wet.

This was definitely uncalled for.

But I made my way there, and with that...

I heard humming.

Suddenly, my senses went on triple overdrive. Who could this possibly be, again? It couldn't be Julia. It couldn't be. It couldnt--

I parted the leaves of the tree away and saw a girl who sat by a rock by the lake, her feet dipped in it...

"Peter!"

Julia?

My heartbeat ticked up a couple of notches.

"How did you know I was here? Aw. How sweet of you, actually looking for me!"

She gathered up the ends of the skirt she wore and held them as she approached me, her eyes glimmering, her smile ever so beautiful, and her sun-kissed skin bathed on sunlight.

Wow.

I forgot, yet again, to speak. "Uh... Erm... I... I wasn't looking for you."

"Oh really now. Heh. Why are you here, then?"

"Went exploring around, for... For something to do because my sketchpad--"

"I am so sorry! It's actually with me, Peter, if you do not mind. I will return it, probably tomorrow" She gathered her hair up in a high bun as she said those words, and I swear beauty has never been this exquisite. After she was finished, she smiled. "It's just that, you know? You're really good. I admire your art. Really." Her smile turned into a sheepish grin.

That warmed the cockles of my goddamn heart.

My art is beautiful, yes, because she said so....

But I know it isn't as beautiful as her.

Because nothing can ever compare.

I merely nodded.

"You're quiet, aren't you? I mean, really quiet. You're so cute."

There we go again, with the cute, my thought bubbled, only to be followed by, Speak, loser! "I'm sorry." I smiled.

"That's okay. My mother is quiet too, you know? Like, she barely even talks, not at all. Compared to her, you're a party animal."

I thought about how a person could go without talking and if her mother was ever deaf when she spoke again.

"There you go again, quiet guy. May I ask of you.., a question?"

That had my heartbeat all frantic. Does she know I like her? Nevertalk to heragain. Sheknows. Youare caught.

I merely gulped. "Uh... Yes. Sure. Go ahead."

"Why are you alone all the time?"

And with that, my heart felt some sadness and heaviness of some sort. It was worse than if she-- does she?-- know I like her. It was like I was a loser in her eyes. No, I am a loser, in everyone's. And it stung. It so stung. But I had to remind myself not to be so goddamn defensive, because it was true. She voiced out the truth. And I know it. She knows it. Everyone knows it.

"I am so sorry... Did I offend you?"

"Uh.. No." I smiled. "I'm just alone because I choose to be."

"Bah. Lies. No matter what a loner says about wanting to be alone, I know he or she wants a friend. I could be your friend, Peter."

A friend.

She is my friend.

It didn't hurt me. In fact, it delighted me to the core.

My first friend!

Julia!

"I would love that."

"'Course you would. I actually followed you, Peter sweetest. I saw you scurry up here. And I trailed behind. And this is a nice place. I saw the trees and flowers and the lake, but most of all I got to meet you and see your art. Your beautiful art."

She glanced at my watch. "Eh. Time to go, buddy. Let's?" She put on her shoes.

"Nah. I will stay for a minute."

"Come on. Being lonely all over again?"

She had a point. "Well. If you say so. "

We walked back to school, and now, I have a friend.

Julia, my friend.

My life went uphill at that moment.