It was Jai at the door. I didnt want to see him, nor talk to him. I know it was stupid and rude to shut the door in his face but I just didnt know what else to do. He hurt me so much and i dont know how I could ever forgive him. After I had been in my room for an hour, it began the rain again. I snuggled up in my bed, tears folwing from my eyes as I remembered some of the best memories I had with Jai. I got up from my bed and walked downstairs. I had a sudden urge to go back to the front door. 'Jai wouldnt still be there..' i thought to my self in disappointment. I sighed but walked to the door anyway. Wiping away some tears that still fell, i slowly opened the door. No one was there. I continued walking out the door and sat on the long wooden chair on the front porch. I stared out at the rain that trickled down the gutter and into the drain. All of a sudden I heard a quiet sniffing and crying sound coming from the side of the house. I slowly got up from the chair and walked around the corner to see Jai.
He was soaking wet and sitting on the cold, hard concrete crying. He was trying to read some sort of letter, but the ink had smudged from the rain. Something inside me felt bad for him, so i montioned him to stand up and come inside. Not saying a word, he stood up and followed me inside. We walked all the way up into my bedroom in silence. I got him a towel and one of my oversized jumpers and some of my dads old pants and guided him to the bathroom where he took a shower. I walked back to my room absolutely confused by my actions, but I did feel it was time we talked. He had left the smudged letter on the table beside my bed. I picked up the wet paper and scanned over it trying to find some sort of words or letters I could read. The only words that werent smudged were at the bottom of the page that read:
"Love you lots and lots, Soph <3 xo"
I gasped as i red the words in my head. It was the first letter I ever wrote him when we began dating. He kept it all this time? I asked myself smiling. I stop smiling as the painful memories replayed in my mind. He hurt me, really really bad. I said aloud to myself, not realising Jai was standing at the door staring at me the whole time. I looked up at him and placed the letter back on the table. He slowly began walking over and sat down on the bed next to me. He sighed and said, "Im sorry Sophie." I could see him looking at me as i stared at the ground, fighting back tears. Be strong Sophie, I said to myself, be strong. "You have no idea how much youve hurt me Jai.." I say in a raspy voice, fighting back the lump in my throat. Jai looked up at me in surpirse that I replied to him. "I know I did Sophie, that's why I am here." He finishes, hoping for another reply. I shake my head and laugh pathetically at him. "You have no idea what has happened to me since we broke up that day Jai. My life has been a living hell!" I snap, the tears starting to fall. "I've been getting hate from that bitch you're dating! I just went to my own fathers funeral on Wednesday! I am probably the most hated person at school! i cant do anything right! I am always disappointed someone! I dont want to be here anymore Jai!" I yell, the tears falling freely down my cheeks. I see a tear roll down his cheek as he looks up at me. "I give up Jai." I whisper looking down at my feet.
