Ivars Dream

Prologue

They say the day I was born into this dreadful world had changed the lives of many, more so my mothers, Eva. My father told me that she was in a state of depression where she wouldn't leave her bed for days, but it wasn't until I was born did she slowly start to make the step towards progression. 

He said it started off with the small things like brushing her own teeth and showering every day, and then progression started to improve immensely when she started to change my nappies and feed me on her own. To say that I'm proud my mother was strong enough to pull herself out of depression so she could tend to me and love me would be an understatement. 

During my first year of life, dad told me that mum would take me to the orphanage where I would play with my older brother Cole. Once my mother was a hundred percent again she quickly adopted Cole at the young age of twenty. My father and mother didn't get married until I was four years old, I don't remember it but Cole says it was a happy day. 

Cole says we were a small happy family for the first five years of my life, Mum was working part-time at the local hospital as a nurse and dad was a mechanic at his shop. We weren't rich back then, doing well to keep our head above water but not as wealthy as we are now. But Cole says that money doesn't make you happy, and the best way to show your love is to give someone your time. 

As a kid I never understood it, but Cole understood fully because he was lonely in the hospital and he knew mum loved him because she always made an effort to visit him. Cole told me of the first time he met mum, he said it was the happiest day of his life and that he had never seen mum so happy before. She was there with my namesake, Uncle Ivar. I didn't know much about Ivar, no one talked about him much except Cole here and there. Cole says he was a crippled just like himself who couldn't walk, he loved Ivar because he left him with a piece of advice that had kept him hoping for a better future. Cole says that if it wasn't for Uncle Ivar he doesn't think he would be my brother and has everything to thank him for.

Cole says that he wished dad never took over Hail's corporation, I feel the same way. Dad had missed half of my childhood because of work. Uncle Joseph had tried to fill in dad shoes as best he could as our father figure, but it just wasn't the same. 

After two years of dads travelling, mum started having nightmares. The first time it happened I was scared out of my wits, I was seven years old and I still remember it like it was yesterday. 

It was early in the morning about 3 am, dad was in England on a business trip. Cole and I were sharing a room and right across the hall was the master bedroom where mum was sleeping. I was on the top bunk and Cole was sleeping in the bottom. Something woke me up, it was Cole shaking the bed as he sat up in bed reaching for his crutches. 

"Cole, what are you doing?" I had asked. 

"I think something is wrong with mum, I could hear her screaming," was his reply. 

I quickly climbed out of bed and rushed into mum's room, she was squirming in bed crying. Next thing you know she's screaming my name, over and over. 

Cole quickly moved to wake her up, I couldn't help but cry as I watched mum in distress while screaming my name. Once she woke up and realised I was crying and Cole had a look of horror on his face she pulled us in for an embrace. 

"Why were you screaming my name mum?" I asked. 

"I was screaming your name, baby?"

"You were, mum, is everything okay?" Cole asked. 

"Just a nightmare, honey. Everythings alright." 

But everything wasn't alright, it had only gotten worse from there. You should see mum when dad would come home, she would be happy as can be. But when he had to leave time and time again you could see the loneliness slowly envelope her until it was too much and consumed her. The nightmares had become so bad that she had to take sleeping pills so she could sleep at night. She said the nightmares were of me growing up too fast and leaving her just like dad. But Cole thinks she's lying and it's about Uncle Ivar, but she won't ever admit it.

It always piqued my interest as to why my namesake could give my mother such nightmares. Aunty Riley explained that mum didn't do well with people she loved moving away. Aunty Elaine had moved to America to be with her husband, she had stayed as long as she could with mum to watch over her, but it was putting a strain on her own marriage so she finally left. Dad tried his best to be home as much as he could, but it was hard when the business was growing in Europe and he couldn't trust anyone with overseeing the construction. 

Dad had tried to get mum to go with him on his business trips, but she wouldn't. She was scared to travel. Apparently, she had a big scare last time she travelled abroad after she graduated high school, never heard the full story though. 

"Ivar! Go and wake up mum, and feed her she needs to eat," Cole called from the study. 

It was my turn to feed after mum, we took turns every meal. 

I moved to the master bedroom where my mother was sleeping, her brows were furrowed and her mouth was pursed. Even in her sleep, she looked sad, I moved closer to mum with a bowl of soup and set it down on the nightstand. 

I gently shook her awake, she woke with a start it took her awhile to come back to reality and when she finally did a small frown fell on her face. I couldn't help the small ache I felt in my heart, once she looked up a small but fake smile graced her face. We had become so accustomed to her emotions that we could read her like a book, today wasn't going to be a good day. 

"Morning mum, it's time to eat," I said even though it was 12 pm in the afternoon. 

"Oh, little Ivar. Thank you, dear," she responded. 

As I spoon fed her, I watched as she tried her best to keep up the fake smile. 

"How's school?" 

"Mum, school finished a month ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have forgotten." 

"It's fine mum, hey would you like to go for a walk with me and Cole today? We wanted to get an Ice cream from Tommy's today and walk along the waterfront like old times," I tried to sound excited. 

"Oh, not today little Ivar. I don't think I'm feeling too well." 

She was the only one who still called me that and shes been saying that for the past six months. 

"Mum, I really need you to..." 

But she cut me off.

"Little Ivar, when does that father of yours get home?" 

Every time she brought up dad it was an immediate mood dampener. 

"He's back soon mum," I tried to sound positive. 

"Okay, honey. Well, I'm still feeling unwell, I'm just going to rest some more. Could you please close the door on your way out please," Eva had said as she laid back down. 

I sighed before I tucked her in and walked out the door. Dad had only left two days ago, he would be back in a month. I don't know how I'm going to do his when Cole leaves for University.