A CLAY DOLL'S TEAR

Chapter 26

Clay's P.O.V

"why do I feel so bad when I think about my mother?" Kyle sits up in his bed with the light blue

cotton sheets draping over his lower body."I feel so guilty."

Nyla rubs kyle's back gently trying to calm him from another nightmare.

Kyle has not had a proper nights rest since he has been back with us 6 months

ago and Nyla has been working with him to help him understand that none of what

had happened was his fault and his reaction towards it is not something he should be ashamed of.

Leaning against the door frame of Kyle's room allowing Nyla to do what she can, I listen to them

both and a lot of it hits home for me.

I have my own demons to fight with also. I know how hard it is for me but for him, being a child

and fighting within himself must be twice as hard or even more so.

"Why do u feel guilty?" Nyla reaches over pulling Kyle closer to her." Do not be afraid or ashamed of anything you want to tell us. We love you and nothing will ever change that."

Kyle scoots over allowing Nyla's arm to drape around his neck." The whole time I was in that place, I did not miss my mother. I know I am supposed to but I did not feel it."

Twisting the sheet around his fingers, his head weights down with shame "I just wanted to go home with Del."

"Kyle." Placing a finger under kyle's chin Nyla tilts his head for her to look into his eyes."You must understand that all that you are feeling is normal given the circumstances."

Nyla lets go of his chin and cup his hand into hers" I was never close to my real mother. I hardly even knew her. The feelings I was suppose to have for her I didn't and still don't. She was my birth mother but Judge Josy was my real mother. It is only natural that u think of Claydel as ur home because Clay has always been the mother figure you have known and there is no shame in that. Your not wronging your birth mother for feeling the way you do. You seeing Clay as your mother does not mean your feelings are not as they should be. It is not your fault you do not have that bond with your real mother. That bond was never created in the first place. that is why you're not missing her in the way you think you should. You can not allow your self to feel guilty for not having it, it's not your fault."

Kyle sniffles quietly with tears threatening to fall. His bottom lip quivers as an involuntary whimper escapes his lips.

Nyla pulls him into a warm comforting embrace just after lending a sharp kiss on his forehead. "Never be afraid to cry, we all need to from time to time to stay strong."

Seeing Kyle hurting like this and the way Nyla comforts him makes me wonder how I would have been able to help him in this way on my own.

I am in no position to nurse anyone's mental health when half the time I feel like am losing my own damn mind. Pulling Kyle's door shut behind me, leaving Nyla and Kyle to have their moment, I walk to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water.

If it's not clear by now, Yes, Nyla and I are living together and basically co-parenting Kyle. They have grown so close it's almost impossible to separate them. I'm not jealous or anything, don't get me wrong. In fact I really like the idea of it.

We are like a little family if you think about it.

Nyla lets out a long, well deserve sigh as she closes Kyle's bedroom door behind her. She then descends the stairs taking her sweet time holding on to the golden rails.