Destined (Jerza Fanfiction)

Chapter Nine : When I can't Breathe

Erza Scarlet

I walked out to see fairy tail gathered outside the cave, examining and healing those that were wounded, especially Gray.

It wasn't a serious wound, which made me sigh a relief. But the moment I approached him, he stared at me worriedly.

I leaned on the nearest wall, noticing that the others were leaving us alone to speak with each other. But I ignored them all and closed my eyes.

"How is your wound?" I asked him, glancing at his bandaged arm. He kept silence for a while before answering.

"How is yours?"

I turned and stared at him curiously. "What does that supposed to mean"

I noticed the anger and concern in his voice. It was as if I was the one who had been in trouble. I shifted my gaze and stared straight ahead. I was too tired to fight against anyone now, I was too tired to even mutter a word. But hearing Gray's words just aroused my curiosity.

"There's no point in pretending. I happened to overhear your conversation," Gray stated. I gaped at him.

"That's just silly. It was nothing," I stated firmly, trying to maintain my composure.

"It's something," he retorted.

"What do you know?"

"You don't really know, do you..?" he sighed and stared somewhere deeply. "Jellal said those...because...

...he doesn't have much time to stay here. He'd be leaving this world soon,"

I found myself flinching.

"How did you?.."

"Ultear told me that," he explained further. "She said he didn't want to tell you about it because he knew it would hurt you more..."

"No."

Stupid.

Why would he ever lie to me? why would he do that?.

"That damn stupid liar." I swore under my breathe, not realizing that my visions started to blurr again. "why did he.. why"

"He didn't lie. What he told you was partially true, it's just that he didn't tell you everything-"

He stopped suddenly and looked at me with eyes wide open, realizing that I was already blinking out tears. He looked down and let the silence enter the area. I looked away.

Damn. Why now. I thought I promised myself not to cry.

But why?

"Why..." I tried to say calmly, but more tears came rushing out of my eyes. "Why...am I... crying,"

"Erza..."

"Why am I so stupid?" my voice became hoarse as I tried to control my sobs. But I couldn't.

It felt like I wouldn't be able to stop myself anymore. I've always been keeping it in, I've always been hiding my emotions for so long.

I tried to act like I didn't really care.

But I couldn't. Right now, I couldn't act anymore.

I let my tears ran down my cheeks but it didn't stop.

It was too painful, knowing that I was the only one who became the person who acted stupidly. It felt like I can't breathe.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to yell.

But before I could say something, Gray embraced me and pulled me closer into his chest, making me cry on his shoulders.

"Erza..." He said. "I'm sorry."

It seemed like it wouldn't end. It felt like this agony would stay with me forever.

My misery would never end.

"But if you wanted to cry, you don't have to do it alone," he tightened his grip,

I stopped and suddenly remembered..

That moment.

-*-*-*-

I sat behind the tree as I watched the calm waters, calming me too.

I thought about everything, about what just happened. I survived the tower of heaven.

But I wonder if I was the only one who made it. The others ...

Where are they?

Why did I ever leave them?

Why am I so selfish?

All I ever thought was escaping on my own.

I felt the coldness of the breeze as I felt my tears coming out of my right eye.

It's been like this ever since I left him...

Ever since I betrayed them... But it wasn't him anymore. It wasn't him, the one who showed me what the world really was.

I felt more tears coming out until I realized that someone was already watching me.

I wiped my tears and stared at his midnight blue eyes.  It was him again. That stupid idiot who thought he could defeat me.

"If you want to fight, I'm not in the mood," I said.

"I'm not here to fight," He replied which shocked me. I stared at him as he made his way towards me.

"If you wanted to cry, you don't have to do it alone,"

That made my tears came rushing out again.

-*-*-*-

"Why?" I asked Gray, who was still comforting me."why do you always have to do this?"

He  kept quiet.

"Why?" i cried. "Why won't you just leave me alone?"

I gritted my teeth, feeling a huge weight on my chest, making me not able to breathe normally. It was too much...

I remembered everything that happened. It felt like it just happened in a flash. I somehow wanted to go back there in the tower of heaven and never leave, even if it was not the same again. Even if Jellal even kill me. Even if I' die in vain.

It felt like leaving the Nirvanna was the greatest mistake of my life. Plainly because that was the reason why my life became more complicated.

"I know how it felt." He replied back in a soft tone, making me stop and listen closely. "That's why I don't want to let you be in agony alone. I've been through that, too."

We kept silent before I had the stregth to stare at him in the eye, and remembered those times when I was starting up in Fairy Tail. Those eyes that comforted me whenever I remember my dark past.

"Gray...." I said, calming myself.

I stared up at him and he also did.

"You stupid idiot!" I yelled and punched him.

He was taken aback by surprise but he dodged my attack quickly.

"Whoa. What was that?" He complained. I chuckled.

"You are clumsy. You need to be alert in everything," I said.

"Geez. What a mess." He spat, but he grinned later on. "But I will defeat you next time."

I smiled.

But...

Thank you...