Part-time Boyfriend

Epilogue

I got glued to the floor the exact moment I saw her. I don't know how many times I have been captivated by her beautiful face, especially now that she's dressed in white. Para siyang anghel.

Dahan-dahan siyang humahakbang hawak ang boquet ng bulakalak sa mga kamay niya. Just like in a movie, it was in slow motion and in black and white. Kaming dalawa lang, walang ibang tao.

Nang makarating na siya sa dulo bumalik na ang kulay sa paligid..... bumalik na ang iba't ibang ekspresyon ng mga tao na nasa loob ng simbahan. Ikinawit niya ang braso sa lalaking hinihintay siya at hindi ako ang lalaking 'yon.

I bit my lip so hard it bled. Napalunok ako, nilunok ko ang pait.

"Hello Rowan? It's a miracle you called," tanong agad ni Madeline nang sagutin ang tawag ko.

"Mads, do you... happen to know.... Magnolia Peñafrancia?" Holding my phone so tight, I was barely able to speak.

"I do. She's the only daugther of a rich magnate in Cebu. Ang alam ko ikakasal na siya." Naramdaman kong namasa na lang bigla ang mga pisngi ko. "But I heard from my friends that it was just marriage for convenience." Lalong hindi ko na napigilan ang mga luha ko.

I remembered the ring on her finger that I once saw. I remembered the times that she left. 'Yon siguro ang mga panahon na inaayos na ng pamilya niya ang kasal. Naalala ko rin ang gabing bumalik siya sakin ng umiiyak, sinubukan niya sigurong ipaglaban ang kalayaan niya pero—

The day I found love is the day I lost it.

Kagaya ko ginusto niyang maramdaman kung ano nga ba ang pakiramdam ng magmahal. She wanted to at least know how it feels before she gives up herself for her family. She wanted to feel freedom before she'll be caged for life.

Why did she choose this? Why didn't she tell me. I would have let her mess up my life. Sa sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko para akong pinapatay. Nakakamatay na panoorin siyang mawala sakin.

"Mads, I think I'm cursed. Lagi na lang ikinakasal sa iba ang babaeng minamahal ko."

A sweet song that's defeaning swallowed the church. Kahit nabibingi ako ay pinili kong manatili at tiisin ang naririnig at nakikita. I wanted to watch everything till it ends.

Is this fate, or is this because I was too confident that I'll never fall for anyone? I was too conceited, I was too focused in the past, too focused in finding the answer when the answer was just right beside me.

Ayokong makasakit pero ako ang nasaktan. Even if things ended this way, I would never hate Maggie. She never wanted any of this.

Dapat ay kumilos na ko noon pa. Ako dapat ang kumilos para sa kanya, para.... samin.

"You may now kiss the bride," narinig kong sabi ng pari.

Pain is eating my whole being while watching her kiss someone other than me... to be tied to someone other than me. I wanted very much to shout... to shout her name and take her hand but I couldn't do it.

Bago pa niya ko makita ay naglakad na ko palayo sa simbahan. Ayokong malaman niya na nandito ako, ayokong umiyak siya. Hahayaan ko na lang na isipin niyang hindi ko siya hinanap, hindi ako nasaktan at wala akong nakita. Hahayaan kong isipin niyang ang lahat ng nangyari sa pagitan namin ay ginawa ko lang dahil trabaho ko. I will keep letting her think that she didn't matter. Hahayaan kong isipin niyang hindi ko siya minahal. Hahayaan ko kahit durog na durog na ko.

I don't want her to feel guilty just like Carlene. That's why I just stood and watched. Kahit gustong-gusto kong pigilin ang kasal at itakbo siya ay 'di ko ginawa, ayokong mahirapan pa siya. Ayokong masira ang relasyon nila ng pamilya niya na alam kong iniingatan niya. She suffered enough and will still be suffering.

Ako na lang ang sasalo ng mas matinding sakit para saming dalawa. Ako na lang....

"Rowan, you still there?" Napukaw ng tanong ni Madeline ang isip at puso kong nalulunod na sa halo-halong emosyon. "I didn't know you were invited to the wedding."

"I wasn't... "

"Ititigil mo na ba ang trabaho mo?" tanong niya na mukhang naintindihan na kung ano ang nangyari.

"Yeah. I'll quit for good."

"Finally." Instead of being disappointed Madeline felt relieved. "Playing with hearts has always been a nasty game."

"I agree, it's a little nasty."

"'Since you won't be dealing with women everyday anymore, why don't we hang out as friends? I'm willing to listen to everything that's cooped inside of you."

"Aren't you being a little too nice?"

Pinasigla niya ang boses. "I've always been this nice you know. Nasa Cebu rin ako ngayon, I had a business deal that's already been taken care of. Let's meet after 15?

"Sure. Pero hindi ko alam kung nasaan ako. Can you find me?"

"Para kang batang naliligaw Rowan. Stay put, I'm on my way to find you."

"I'll be waiting and by the way, my name's Rylex," paalam ko bago ibaba ang tawag.

At saka ko lang rin naisip na pahirin ang mga luha sa pisngi ko. I looked back one last time and saw Maggie walk towards the path she choose to take on. I just hope she wouldn't regret it like how I regret not being able to save her.

Wakas

"Love is complex so don't just try to understand it with your brain, feel it with your heart."

Thank you for reading :)

Cyan Exorde
ExordeXVII
"Nagsusulat gamit ang puso at imahinasyon."