twilight - wolf pack

Lights will guide me home

It's early morning about 3 or 4 AM and here I am, sitting in the cold with my back leaned against a log at first beach while trying not to lose my sanity after all those insane things that happened.

When I woke up yesterday morning, or rather noon, I had no idea what would happen. If I had, I would've stayed in bed, that's for sure. But being clueless about what fate or the universe had planned, I had gotten up being already exited to meet Paul again.

It was kinda weird at first when he showed up at school again, all buff and suddenly best friends with Jared Cameron, after disappearing for a few weeks and then starting to talk to me out of nowhere. I was cautious and puzzled of course, cause I mean he is Paul Lahote, really popular with the girls and admittedly extremely good looking even before disappearing. I had been two hundred percent sure that he was trying to win a bet or just playing with me for fun because I'm a grey mouse so there was no way he could've been serious with me. But he ignored both my polite and not so polite rejections and one day even some of his friends - the Uley cult had gained recruits over the weeks - talked to me about how Paul's intentions are serious and how I really should give him a chance to prove that he's actually a nice guy.

And eventually that's what I did. When he had asked me yet again to hang out with him and his friends at the beach, I said yes. I was honestly glad that he didn't plan to hang out alone with me because that way awkward silence would've been guaranteed. It didn't make me less nervous though, I was shaking and my stomach was turning on my way to the beach. But that afternoon was really nice. Paul actually seemed like a good person and his friends were really nice too and they all had a great humor. When it was time for me to go Paul had insisted on walking me home. I felt so comfortable at his side, it was kind of strange. I'm usually bad at making friends or talking to strangers and I'm also really shy but when Paul asked me about my favorite color, hobby etc while we were walking, talking to him was as easy as breathing. And when he hugged me good night at the end, it felt like I had found the place where I belong, right in his arms.
I also noticed that his temperature was really high but when I asked him if he was having a fever he just chuckled and went after wishing me a good night again.
Falling asleep wasn't hard that night.

After that day I sat with him and the others during lunch and we hung out almost every other day. Strangely I wouldn't have minded to spend every day with him but as strong as the connection to him felt, I didn't want to let that happen even though at that point if had already happened. I had fallen for him. I played it down as not wanting to fall behind in school but I was just lying to myself.

As soon as I couldn't deny anymore that I had feelings for Paul Lahote, I became that shy grey mouse around him again. I couldn't look at him, I stuttered when talking to him and when we were alone for even just a few seconds I had a billion butterflies flying around my stomach.
It didn't take him long to notice my sudden change in behavior. But instead of making a joke about me having a stick up my ass or something like I had expected, he asked me if I was okay with a serious voice and concerned glance. It took me by surprise and had me starring into his eyes.
"Y/N?", he asked again, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing", I replied while a smile creeped its way onto my face.
It had taken just his eyes to calm me down and I felt like I was home again.
He smiled back at me and his eyes shot to my lips for a brief second before quickly wandering back to my eyes. That's when I realized how close our faces were. He placed his hand at my face cupping my cheek and then leaned closer his gaze not leaving my eyes as if he was searching for my permission in them. With a sudden wave of courage overcoming me, I closed the remaining space between us and met his lips with mine.
The kiss was soft, pure and innocent - the complete opposite of Paul. It felt like eternity but when it was over I wanted more of that feeling of warmth, comfort and love that the kiss had given me.