hey guys so if you saw my whatever you call it on my profile you can see that i'm not dead and i also want to talk. i know i'm weird by the way but i'm gonna do this as if it were a letter because i want to challenge myself with writing.
Dear reader (who is more than likely Camilla or Caroline.),
so, if you have been here since the beginning that's awesome to me that someone cares about a girl who doesn't even care about herself or at least a girl who thinks no one else should carry the burden of caring. deep right? well i decided that i'm done with jokes and i'm gonna be more serious on this book. i decided to kind of give you a run down of my life story starting off with why i'm even alive. so i'm pretty sure i'm an accident i caused so much trouble for my mom. she was fifteen when she became pregnant with me people asked her if she was gonna keep me or it if were telling this from my mom's perspective. she said things like she's not an it she is my child and she didn't understand how people could ask her if she thought about abortion. i ruined so much for her. i got her kicked out of her church youth group. i was a MISTAKE. my mom tells me that i'm her blessing while i think i'm more bad luck. anyway, my dad left her after i was born i never really knew him though so that part i don't really care about but then my mom met my sisters dad. (disclaimer if things like verbal or physical abuse trigger you i don't recommend reading.) if you know me personally and have met my mother i would just like to say my mother is not a slut she believes in love she didn't get knocked up by someone she didn't know she had a child with some one she trusted and loved and that's what i admire about her she sees good in every one. and if shes reading this she needs to know i'm sorry for ever taking her love for granted. i'm sorry i love you. i know i don't show it but i do i'm sorry. any way back to the story. my sisters dad billy or the man i called dad a man who i TRUSTED and LOVED and he took that for granted because he is a big freaking jerk and needs to drive himself of the nearest cliff. i wish i did something i wish i could have comforted my mom. but i didn't know what was going on i was like two. according to my mom he was the nicest man on earth and that somehow changed after he came back from serving in the military then he became violent and verbally abusive. he would do things like wake me up in the middle of the night and wouldn't give me back my pacifier until my mom talked to him and when that failed him he resorted to pushing on my moms stomach while she was pregnant. if i could go back in time i would stop anyone from ever hurting my mom but we cant all be max freaking Caulfield. finally decided that we were out of there. now we move on to my brothers dad who i consider to be my dad he practically raised me and when my mom told him she was pregnant he said well now i have three kids. i acted like a freaking Chloe price to him i gave him so much crap and to hear that he said that just in a casual conversation that me any my mom were having while she drove me home from school made me stop acting like he was the bad guy i was and mason if your reading this or i'm reading it to you i'm sorry i'm so sorry i love you and i'm sorry for ever taking your love for granted. and i know i could say all of this in person to your faces but i have so much more passion behind the screen because its so much easier to say it when your words aren't being choked on along with tears and repressed memories. though it is harder to type when you cant see the keyboard through actual lakes pooling in your eyes. i haven't even gotten to my friends. first up Morgan. Morgan i am more than likely going to read this to you some day. i am beyond thankful for you. you were literally the most popular girl in elementary school. and the fact that you even bothered to talk to me was a huge deal we have been through so much together. so i need you to promise that no matter what we will always be there for each other. when you fall down you better count on me being there to pick you up. Rebecca you're next. where i even begin with you. you are crazy talented in everything that you do and you are never afraid to do what you love even if everyone else thinks it's crazy. so what if you say weird Canadian things. i appreciate your love for bacon and all things maple. Amber i am crazy jealous of you, are freaking beautiful and wickedly talented at pretty much everything you were there from the beginning even when i thought i couldn't you said i could. and i cant forget Caroline. first of all child you are a smexy emo potato who appreciates a good spicy meme. you were there when i needed you the most i could always count on you to be there when i need you. and i cant forget the wonderful emo bands who produced the emo songs i love so much as well as youtubers.
Tyler Joseph
Josh Dun
Patrick Stump
Pete wentz
Brendon Urie
Joe Throhman
Andy Hurley
Gerard Way
Mark Fischbach
Sean Mcloughlin
Felix Kjellberg
Ethan Nester
Amy Nelson
Tyler Sheid
i know right someone could use this as something to get to me. i would love to see them TRY. because f you people who want to see me fall because all th people i mentioned in that letter i guess will pick me right back up. i feel super awesome right now i just told everyone about my horrible messed up life. i truly don't think of it that way though every single word i wrote took me thirteen years to learn and piece together and its my life story. so if you guys think you have problem read this again. and cry me a river. unless you,re problems are a lot worse than in that case if you ever need some one to talk to and i might not even know who you are but i'm here for any one who needs me.
sincerely,
a severely messed up Kaila.
guys i really am okay though.
YOU ARE READING
Salutations And Stay Street.
Randombasically a rant book or where I tell you about my day you probably don't care though. also first chapter is my update schedule so if you are interested in finding out what I update on what day check it out.
