A Series Of Inconvenient Events And How I Survived Them

chapter two

The first sense of anything the morning after waking from my night of endless waiting was a sickly sounding cough and pounding head. My throat was so dry, each breath felt like another year without water, and sweat poured quickly. Looking around for the cause of my sickness, I spotted four empty bottles of soju and a half downed bottle of tequila. I must have lost control and gotten drunk to feel better. From what I remember though, I only felt more miserable. With my head still aggressively pulsing, and Jace pushing his way back into my train of thought, I slugged to the bathroom to grab some medicine. If I was gonna cry I would cry in comfort.

Wiping the tears was the hardest part because even when I was deep in anger of wanting to stop the waterfall, I couldn't. Because I was then crying of how angry and pathetic at the moment. It hadn't even been confirmed he would break up with me. But either way I knew, and I knew well, that our relationship was possibly too far to reach for anymore.

A beach. My love, being the sandcastle sitting calmly in the scene, adding a childish figure and lightening the mood. The moat surrounding, my trust. So fragile, yet remained untouched and happy for such a time. A boy. In the distance. Running with the youth and energy the castle needs. Beautiful as the castle was, it was just as much worn and tired. Not ever knowing when the sand will soak the moat and what time the winds will blow a little too hard and destroy it completely. The boy builds, smiling and joking bringing the castle to life again. Until he, the savior of the castle kicks it around, and leaves it just as the sand around it. He never cared for the castle. It held no true significance, but a stop on his way somewhere else. It was never his true desire to save the castle. Only to perk his smile, and dust himself off.

My love was the castle. Jace was the boy. It was a story that had been told to me by my grandfather on his deathbed. He always said to me,

" The most important life lessons won't make any sense until you need them."

I still don't understand that quote. That's how he was. It didn't matter as long as it made sense to him, because that's the only person he felt responsible for. Maybe that's the best way to go through life. Care for yourself, because no matter how many promises you make, and how many people say they feel for you.....all you have is yourself in the end.

By the time I was done thinking of all this, my coffee had finished pouring and with the last drop, a knock sounded at the door. I tensed, assuming it was Jace. Glancing at the time, it made sense. It was 9:34 and he usually woke at 8. He takes an hour to get ready, and I'm guessing she doesn't live more than half an hour away. He had told me when he was younger, he would have to go somewhere far to do something bad, or he couldn't hold up and always confessed. I guess it's still true for him. I prepared for seeing him, and poured a fair amount of whiskey into my coffee before answering. I stopped at the mirror the check how I looked. Halfway through, I realized I didn't give a shit and opened it anyways. Wrong choice.

" Excuse me, are you Lynn Degrey? I'm your-" The boy stopped in his tracks upon seeing my face. Can't blame him. I had a not even cleaned up enough to be messy bun, a yellow stained shirt, grey sweatpants that were seven sizes too big, and mascara stains that weren't even reasonable with the little mascara I wore that night. Nevertheless, I answered, not wanting to be rude.

" Yes, sir. Aren't you that new neighbor guy? My boyfri- friend and I saw you last week getting a key." I calmly sipped my coffee. I had forgotten about the alcohol in it, so it was hard to act cool after the giant jump, but I managed petty well if I do say so myself. I mean, pretty well with what I went through the night before.

" I-I'm, yes, the new neighbor. My name is Christian and I live across from you. I w-wanted to say hi." The boy bowed awkwardly. I was a bit taken aback by the bow and was about to ask when I saw his shirt. It was completely black except for a korean flag at the top right corner. Jace was korean too. Maybe this started with that. Should I take down my Shinee and Red Velvet posters? Will everything be okay then, too? I started to even drift off into the train of thought that maybe I was in something like W ( a korean drama where the main character of a famous webtoon is a real human and the cartoonist, his daughter, and a staff who worked on the webtoon - and closely with the cartoonist- find out, being thrown into a whirlpool of events between the webtoon and real world. ) and if only I could find a tablet to redraw that night, I would be okay. I was once again pulled from my thoughts my a boy. It wasn't the Christian
guy, though. He was just staring at me. Not a " you're insane I'm scared" way. It was a weird look, but I wasn't focusing on him. I was focusing on the boy behind him who just cleared his throat for my attention. Jace.

Seeing him so unexpectedly was harder than I was ready for. To have such tangled thoughts and have to sort them out in mere seconds was torture. I needed more time. I didn't realize how much I wanted-needed him to avoid me, but as I did it was too late. He was sitting across from me in the kitchen where we shared so many memories. Crying, because of how easily they were thrown away. I had the power. I should have abused it. Made him regret even meeting her in the first place. But I couldn't. No matter how much he hurt me, there was always a spot for him. Somewhere. As I tried to fill the holes with alcohol and endless tears, there remained a place for him. I couldn't fill it even when I had the power too. Because if I did, it would be too hard for me to open my heart up to anyone again at all.

I could have taken advantage and ended everything right there. Heck, my life would have been perfect. I have a new boy neighbor, the stress of Jace would fade, and I wouldn't hurt anymore after I had regained my self confidence. But instead, I stood not wavering and walked over cautiously. Why was I being cautious? Shouldn't this be the other way around? None of these things registered when I sat in his lap and held his head to my chest gesturing for him to cry. Still nothing. I had no regrets and saw no reason why I shouldn't comfort him. Was I out of my mind? He hugged me tighter, still crying and I stroked his hair. This was ridiculous. I was cheated on, but the man who committed the act was in my arms crying. I finally started to wonder. Who gave him the right? To come here. To act the victim like this? To even dare to try and make me feel bad? And that's when I knew. The answer to even why he cheated on me when we were so happy. Me. I let him. I let him do everything. Until everything wasn't enough and nothing was too much. Until I lost myself so much, I couldn't even see him.

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gooys im so hungry help.