D U S K ✔

Chapter Thirty-Five

[UNEDITED]

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"A brain tumour?" I stated, somewhat in shock. Blinking furiously, I turned to face Adam head-on. "A brain tumour?" I repeated.

He nodded, as I searched his face for any kind of indication that he could be lying, but there was nothing. "A tumour. In my brain." He repeated slowly, never breaking eye-contact with me.

"You can't be serious." I didn't let him carry on, "You can't be serious! I swear to God, Adam if you're joking, I will kill you myself! Are you trying to be funny?" My voice raised a pitch, waving my hands about frantically. I looked to Theresa, but her seat was vacant.

Somewhere in my panicking, I had stood up. Now only inches away from Adam, I could feel his breath fanning my nose, the smell of smoke engulfing my senses.

"Why would I joke about this?" He whispered, his voice scratching with a struggle.

My mind was drowning in all this new information, I felt sick to my stomach.

But then really, what else could've been wrong with Adam? All the signs were there. I felt utterly stupid to have so carelessly missed all the signs, not connecting a single bit together.

I was too stupid and naive to even notice Adam had led me outside by the hand, and was currently lighting up another cigarette. "Are you there yet?" He asked, the words muffled as he held the cigarette between his teeth.

"There yet?" I questioned, quietly. Peering down at my knotted hands.

He nodded, "Are you with me?" He slowed down, condescendingly, "Have you accepted the information? Because once you do, Sunshine, I can carry on without you looking at me like I'm a charity case." He raised his eyebrows, struggling to light his cigarette in the sudden gusts of wind.

I wrapped my arms around myself, swallowing down bile that kept rising to the back of my throat. "How can I accept that information? All of it?"

He looked away and shrugged carelessly, "I guess it's easier when you've had your entire life to accept it."

"H-how has this happened?"

He didn't spare me a glance, "It began when I was young-- I can't actually remember how young, it's just always been this way. The doctors started with chemotherapy, every Thursday after school. About a year into the treatment, they found out that it did nothing but enlarge the tumour." He sighed, taking another drag of the cigarette he flicked the small bud on the ground. "Then they started radiotherapy to shrink the tumour, didn't work either, we tried everything."

He paused for a moment, sliding a hand through the black locks of his hair, "I can't remember anything else of my childhood apart from all the hospital trips and panicking over if I'm going to die or not."

"Then a doctor came up with a solution-- not really a solution but something that prolongs and decreases the rate of growth." He shoves a hand into his pocket, pulling out a metal tin, one I knew I recognised as soon as the stark white glimmer met my eyes. He pulled out the tin on the night of the Diner incident, I can remember that much.

Something about that night kept blurring in my mind, trying to force out the panic that resides in the haunting memory. Never had I felt so desperately helpless in my entire life, the nightmares of built-up worry came pouring out of me, in fat, ugly tears.

He still wasn't looking anywhere near me, but I was sure he could hear the sobs I tried to keep quiet. "I take them every two hours, it keeps the tumour from swelling. But the only problem is, the only doctor that knew the chemical formula of these things--" He shook the tin, "--died a few months ago. I'm running low. Seriously low."

"What will happen if you don't take them?"

"Then I'll probably die."

"Oh."

He shuffled over the side of the brick wall, closer to me. "It's not all doom and gloom, though Sunshine." He tilted his head towards me, not meeting my eyes. "For the past few years my parents have been looking for a surgeon willing to take out this beast," He tapped on his skull, "And they finally found one. So all I have to do is sort it all out with Romano, and get into surgery, and we'll get our happily ever after. Alright?"

I somehow found a way to smile through the tears, and chuckle lightly at Adam.

"And the surgery will be okay? It's not super dangerous?" I questioned, hopefully.

He stayed silent for a while, and I already knew my answer. "I'll be fine." He responded.

"Don't lie to me."

He shrugged, "It's not a big deal... All surgeries have risks--"

I could tell he was lying, just by the slight waver in his voice, "What is it? I can handle all of this and now you don't trust me enough to tell me how dangerous it is? What is the tumour on a massive artery or something?"

He rubbed at his eyes, tiredly, "It's not a massive artery." He stated, "It's just that the tumour has increased so much over the years, that it's started pushing on my optical nerve. No big deal. No massive artery."

"What does that mean?" I felt silly to have to ask him so many questions, yet I was in such a state of shock, I couldn't connect any dots.

"Meaning one slip up from the surgeon and I could be blind."

"Are you serious--"

"Sunshine, for the love of God, not a single part of this conversation has been a joke. I've told you this before." He smirked, despite everything.

I shook my head, "But this stuff doesn't happen to normal people it's--"

"When have I ever said to you I was normal?"