**ON HOLD**The Lush: A Rudy Wade Fanfiction (Misfits) oc

Chapter 9: Ciggies and Banter

A/N: Hey everyone, I didn't realise that anyone was still reading this. Apologises for being on hiatus for so long. Hopefully we can get through this story without any more mishaps.

Since I haven't written this in a while, please forgive me for the slight change of writing style.

Hope you enjoy :)

Soft guitar plucking whispered at my ears, the flavour of pizza lingered on my tongue. Allowing myself to breathe in the scent of Rudy's apartment, I felt arms around me as I stretched. There was very little that I could recall from the night before, only that there was one thing that stuck out – I was happy.

I woke to find that there was only one body nuzzled into me. Maybe they merged already? I hoped one of them didn't leave. Untangling myself from Rudy or Too's body, I concluded that it must be Rudy. He was too much of a heavy sleeper. A smile tugged at my lips when I caught him snort a little in his sleep, charming. Letting my hair fall in its messy, heavy natural state, I grabbed a jacket the hung lazily across a desk chair and walked out of the room. It was evident in the scraps left over from last night that we had our own private party of drinks, spliff and good music. I went to turn down the stereo as I found my way to my bag. Rummaging through I find an almost empty pack of ciggies, I'd tried to quit for years but never actually wanted to. I grabbed my lighter from the coffee table and made a quick cuppa before heading out onto the terrace of Rudy's apartment. I put the stick to my lips, burned it. I inhaled and let the burn trickle down my throat. It was nice to be alone with my thoughts but it was also what I'd dreaded. What was a girl to do? Why did the fucking storm have to ruin something this good? It could've been simple, I would've been attracted to the idiot that I had and slowly fallen in love with his soft side – an absolute fairy tale as they'd call it. But here I was, sipping on a hot cuppa, smoke lingering in the early afternoon air, having feelings for one guy...with split personalities. I didn't know what to do and normally in this situation I'd run.

Maybe it was stupid to go home and it was probably incredibly stupid to ignore his messages but I did both. I did what I did because I always did this. I'd always run.

Where the fuck are ya?

I glanced at my phone as it beeped.

Did I do something wrong?

He didn't, I had. Why the fuck did I kiss Too like that knowing that my feelings had been because of Rudy? Were they the same person? Too had been there while I'd fallen for this guy, had it been him the whole time? I was so fucking confused and in all honesty, I was so thankful that it was a Saturday and I could clear my head through the weekend.

Looking at my reflection, I finished up with my dark lippy and highlight. I was going out tonight, I didn't want to give a fuck about all of this shit. I just wanted to be me again, there was no need to forget me over some boy – or boys.

The music rang through the entrance and I clicked my peep toe heels toward the door, past the line.

"Hey Jay, is Renee in tonight?" I asked the bouncer.

"Yeah. Maybe a half hour ago? Haven't seen 'er come ou'." He smiled at me and let me in. I'd known Jay for years.

"Thanks a ton Jay, you're always my hero." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking through the doors.

It was out of town, a place I would always be and a place I'd learned to call home a few years back. I'd been a recent again in the past year and Renee was always the girl who'd tell me straight and get royally fucked with.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I turn to see the woman I needed to see. "And where is your drink – Ant, can you suss Florence here, a drink-" she turns to me, her large hazel eyes staring me down, "Jager bomb?"

I nod. Her hair is dead straight and almost reaches her gorgeous arse. "How the fuck is that thing even real?" I say looking straight at it.

She feigns embarrassment like she always does, "Oh stop!" she laughs. "Take this – cheers!" she hands me my drink and clinks it with her own.

"Cheers!" I yell over the music and down the substance.

The night was filled with plenty of drinks and too much dancing. Renee loved to dance and loved to hear gossip.

"How the fuck did you get yourself in that sort of mess?" She asked when we finally escaped for a cigarette.

"Honestly, everything I know, you know. Why do you think I'm here? I needed this." I feel my phone buzz again.

Flo please answer me

Where the fuck was she?

"I don' know wha' tah do ma'e." I was pacing. Too had been moping on the lounger and I didn't know what to do. She kept ignoring my calls and txts. Im shaking at this point. It was Alisha all over again and I didn't know what the fuck to do.

"It's just like Alisha isn't it?" Too's voice was somber, almost like he'd given up - how the fuck could he just give up like that??

"No. I refuse teh believe tha' Flo would do this. We had the best nigh' of our focking lives last nigh'. No - she's nufing like Alisha." I think I'm trying to lie to myself at this point.

My hands shake as I light up.

"I don't know what to do Renee." I say defeated.

"Man the fuck up. If you love this boy - which it sounds like you do -" she takes the stick to her mouth and inhales before continuing, "Go after this guy. You deserve it more than anyone I know. And if it's just a fuck, this isn't the first time you've realised it was just a toss and tumble in the sheets."

She was right. She'd seen me get attached to guys before where all it was was sex. I'd been clouded with the infatuation of not having the guy that after a good root it was settled, just a simple fuck.

"Fuck it out of your system, see what it is maybe? When was the last time for you?" She finished her cigarette and lit up another. She handed me a second as well.

Taking it, I light up, "2 months, that Arthur shit head from the Irish pub. Do you remember the one?"

"Blondie, big cock but didn't know how to use it?" She asked exhaling.

"That's the one, yeah."

"Well fuck Florence, maybe it's just that."

She was probably right, she was always right. "Yeah I guess." I let the burn smolder at my throat. "What time is it?"

Renee pulls out her phone, "The night is still young sweet heart. Maybe we can find a solution to your problem tonight?" she smirked.

We finish up our cigarettes and headed in for another drink and dance.

My heart was heavy as I watched Rudy pace around the apartment. My fingers twiddle nervously, the smell of smoke reaching me and I wince. "Can yeh do tha' outside?" I ask my counterpart.

"If you don' wanna smell i', then fock off." He was tense, so was I.

I decided to leave, walk it off, get away from Rudy. The air was crisp, the trees dance to the rhythm of the wind. It was just like Alicia all over again wasn't it? This time it wasn't sex though - it was never about that for me anyway. It was her company, her intimacy that I'd never experienced with anyone before. I missed her touch. Hopefully she'd return a call or message Rudy back. It was hard not knowing where she was. At least we both knew that we'd be able to see her on Monday, right?