Brain Matter {Random}

Oneshot- NCIS

This is set in one night after a case where Ziva opens up to Tony about a deep secret she had held in her for a long time. They have been secretly dating for about a month now.

Ziva's POV

"Tony! Stop" I laugh

He was pulling me like a little kid back to his place, we were going to relax after the case we finished up tonight. Maybe have a few drinks.

"But Ziiiivvaaaaa I want to be back home and I want to rest!" He wined

I just rolled my eyes at how much I love him.

"Old man tired? Should we get him in bed?" I smerked

"You wish, you wish." He laughed.

We reached his place and got relaxed on the couch. Tony brought us a six pack in to the living room.

I gave him a glance.

"So we won't have to get up again.." He laughed.

I rolled my eyes and he turned on some movie. We mostly just talked about things in our life. I don't know what time it was but with every thing we mentioned in our life, I was so tired and felt sick. I started to close my eyes and I heard the end credits rolling in the background. I fell asleep on Tony's chest.

-Two hours later -

"Ziva,"

"Ziva"

I kept hearing my name. I slowly opened my eyes and met Tonys.

"Hm?" I mumbled

"Ziva are you okay. You were talking in your sleep, and what I heard I was pretty conserned." I heard him say

What did he hear. I have things I can't let get out..

"What did you hear?" I opened my eyes.

He hesatated, and sighed.

"You were screaming abba, and tossing around a lot. What's up Ziva?" He asked

I felt my heart drop, I felt like I had to run. Fight or flight. Or more like confess or flight.

My throught knoted up as a stood up, I wanted to run. I tried to get to the door, but Tony stopped me.

"Please I have to leave." I begged him.

"Ziva, what happend!" He questioned.

I slid down the door and sat on the floor with my head on the door.

"Tony you cannot tell anyone what I'm about to say" I pleaded

He nodded his head and sat beside me.

I closed my eyes a started to think back to when I was a child.

"When I was fourteen my father," I couldn't talk past there.

My whole world was stopped.

I was sent into flashback.

"Ziva! Come here" my father called

"Yes abba?" Replied

He got up and closed the door

I remeber being so confused, he told me he loved me. I thought he was going to dump me or was going to a meeting out of the country. But I was so wrong.

I remeber everything that my father did to me that time and so many others.

"Abba, what are you doing?" I asked him

"I want to show you I love you." He responded.

I remeber how I cried silently in my closet that night. I wanted to disappear, I hated my world. I remeber Ari finding me that night in my closet curled up shaking.

"Ziva" I heard witch pulled me out.

"Tony. My father, he, he raped me. For years" i quickly told him.

I felt Tonys eyes on me,

"Oh Zi" he sighed.

Tony slowly put his arms around me, and I felt safe. I felt like I could tell him everything about me. I finally knew it was true love.

And I don't know what came over me but I just started to cry, I held on to Tony like I did Ari when This happend.

Tonys POV

"Tony I have kept this a secret my whole life, please I beg you do not tell anyone." She told me

"I won't, don't worry, you're safe now. Please zi don't worry." I hugged her

I was so scared to even put my arm on her, I know this was along time ago, but she still is having flashbacks and remembers everything. I just didn't want her to put up walls because she was scared. People in this situation are like a caged wild tiger. It will fight like hell to get out and back to what it knows; the wild.

"And you know the worst part Tony," she continued. "I killed in cold blood the only person who helped me all those nights."

"Ziva, you had to, he wasn't the same person as he was then" I told her

I didn't know what to do next, ziva was just holding into me crying.

"Hey, it's almost three do you want to sleep zi?" I asked her.

I didn't want her to be scared of my question, with this I have to choose my words carefully. She nodded, I helped her up to the bed.

"I'll go to the couch" I said

"No, please stay Tony" she pleaded

"Are you sure,?" I asked

She nodded to me and so i got in on the other side of the bed. I was scared of her running.

She curled up close to me and put her arm on my chest. I slowly put my arm on her pellow and I held her hand on my chest.

"Thank you Tony, thank you, I love you, so much." She mumbled

"Your welcome zi, I promise I will help you with anything and I love you more than you will know." I replied as I look up in to the celing.

Ziva had fallen asleep. I couldn't, I had this in my head and I just wanted to go dig up that bastereds grave and kill him for myself again. I wish I could have one chance to kill him myself. I spent the whole night thinking of what I would do to him. What I'm going to do, should I tell Gibbs, how to help her, how to take things slowly. And what our future will be like. I just want Ziva to know she's my whole world. I love her.