Selfish Pleasure: A Homophobic Nightmare

Chapter 2: Top to Bottom

Later that night, Nathan met Marcus at a Chili's downtown. All through dinner, they talked about each other's interests as they got to know each other better. Once they finished, they walked outside into the cold hair.
"So, what are our requirements?" Nathan asked with his hands in his jacket pockets.
"What do you mean"
"What can and can't we do on these,"
"On these what? Dates?"
"Yeah," Nathan answered looking down.
"Well first, you could call them that it's cool.. I guess just not in front of anyone. And as far as requirements, I guess we should establish some ground rules, shouldn't we."
"I guess so."
"Alright, so one thing we can't do is the obvious; public display of affection. Unless it's the two of us, we can't be seen doing anything out of the ordinary together." Marcus told him.
"Alright," Nathan replied, saddened at the thought of it being unordinary.
"Second, we should only talk about gay stuff when we're alone. And no looking at each other in any funny way; people could tell so much from just our chemistry."
"Wait why are you making all the rules? Don't I get any say in this?" Nathan asked as they approached the car.
"Because, I am the male figure."
"Oh and what makes you the male figure?"
"The fact that I'm..." Marcus began to say before looking around him.
They got inside before he finished.
"Straight."
"So you are straight." Nathan replied.
"Yeah, I mean I've always been."
"So then what are we doing"
"Nothing, just.. two friends... trying something." Marcus answered.
"Marcus, I don't want to try this if you're straight. Nothing good can come from this."
"Why not? Who cares if I'm straight, don't you want to try this with me?"
"I want to be with you, I don't want to be a lab rat. If you're straight, there's nothing we could do about that."
"Yes there is; we can try."
"I can't try anything with someone who won't end up liking me. Why should I even try if I'm not sure what the outcome will be, especially with someone who's straight... why should anyone experiment with someone straight"
"Because, I'm not straight."
"But I thought you weren't..."
"I know.. I don't know. I told you. Ever since I saw you, I just don't know anymore. You did something, it's all your fault." Marcus told him.
"What did I do? Be a bad influence"
"Yes."
"How? What did I do to you? What could I have possibly done to turn you..."
"You looked at me." Marcus interrupted.
Nathan paused before looking down.
"Well if that's all it takes, I'll stop looking. Act like I never looked at you.. you don't know what color my eyes are."
"It doesn't work like that, Nath. You made me feel like we were the only two in that room.. in the world. Look at me, you even make me sound gay already."
"So what.. are you mad at me for looking at you? Are you mad I didn't look at someone else first"
"No, I'm not mad. I'm happy.. I've never been happier."
"Well, that is what gay means." Nathan joked.
Marcus smirked before saying
"I'm so happy I did something about it. You know, the other guys; we talk about this kind of stuff but we just brush it off the second we think about it. I'm happy I didn't. I'm happy you agreed to this."
"I'm happy you're happy.. but I'm not happy that you get to make all the rules." Nathan told him with a side eye look as he buckled his seatbelt.
"I told you, I'm the man in this relationship."
Nathan smiled as he realized what he called it.
"And what makes you the man now? You're not straight anymore."
"Well, I'm still manly. I'm not too sure how you people do it but from a straight perspective; I'm guessing I'd be the top which means you're below me." Marcus told him after starting the car.
"Oh well in that case, you're right. Whatever you say Top dog." Nathan replied sarcastically.
"Don't you speak to me that way, boy. Who's your daddy?"
"Okay, we need to go over this gay stuff." Nathan replied before they drove home.

Once they arrived, Marcus parked his car on the curb across from Nathan's house.
"So I'm not allowed to call you a f..."
"For damn hell you're not. Not after what I've heard your friends taking about." Nathan said interrupting Marcus.
"Fine. But can I call you tonight?"
"Wow.. I really did make you gay." Nathan replied smiling.
"You did... look what you've done to me. I've never been happier." Marcus said looking at him with the biggest smile.
Nathan blushed before Marcus leaned in to kiss him again.
"You wanna come inside?" Nathan asked.
"Hell yeah"
"My house, dirtbrain"
"I'd love to. But what do we tell your parents?"
"Hello, this is my friend Marcus from school. We're just going to study."
"Just like what straight people say," Marcus replied in shock.
"It's a whole new world, isn't it."
"See I know that reference, I think I might've been gay all along." Marcus said after his realization.
"Oh really?"
"What, you knew?"
"Of course. Marcus, you can't turn gay."
"Because everyone's gay already"
Nathan looked at him with great confusion.
"What are you talking about?"
"The guys always brush these thoughts off so quickly; is it because once we think about it we'll become it realizing we've been gay all along? I mean I'm just speaking from experience."
"No, Marcus. You didn't turn gay, maybe you haven't been gay all along. You just fell in..." Nathan began to say before stopping himself.
"Fell in what"
"Fell for me, for this feeling. You just happened to like me the way you would like a girl. I mean I had my clothes on when you saw me. There was something about me, not my gender."
"Well, then what am I"
"You are human, you are ordinary, you are the sweetest guy I've ever met. And you're just going with your gut.. or your heart if you wanna be gay about it."
"I mean, I might as well at this point." Marcus said before they both laughed.
"I'm not a bad influence, and neither are you. We're just two people doing what any normal couple would do."
"But, we're not normal."
"Don't say that, it hurts to hear it."
"But I mean maybe one day we will be. And even if we never make it to becoming normal, who wants to be normal anyway? If everyone was normal, life would be so boring. We'd make the worst reality tv show if everyone was the same looking, with the same characteristics. Right now, we're better than normal.. and we're changing the world by doing so." Marcus told him smiling.
"The world is changing. But people think it's for the worst."
"How? All we're doing is showing more love in the world, that's all we need right now."
"Yeah but imagine a world where everyone shows the same kind of love; gay love for each other. If everyone was gay, mankind would go extinct." Nathan told him.
"But what if everyone is already gay and they just chose not to come out about it. What if they all came up with organized relationships with the opposite genders just to appear normal and for the purpose of procreation but behind closed doors they all go back with their true lovers."
"You and your conspiracies."
"You and your worries."
Nathan smiled before realizing the time.
"You know on second thought, it's getting late. I should get to bed."
"You're right, on that thought I should come with you."
"Nice try. Maybe next time, Top." Nathan told him as he got out of the car.
"Can we do this again tomorrow?" Marcus asked him as he walked over to the passenger side of the car.
"Of course. Wherever you want this time." Nathan answered.
"Awesome. I had the best time tonight."
"I did too, thank you for asking me."
"Thank you for saying yes."
"Thank you for going with your gut."
"Thank you for showing me it was my heart."
"Thank you for being gay all along, I'm surprised no one's caught that yet."
"You did.. and you caught my heart."
"Okay enough. And no I didn't, I thought you were straight."
"I was before I met you."
"When are we ever going to figure this whole thing out"
"When we open our eyes and see what's in front of us." Marcus told him holding his hands.
"So smooth." Nathan said chuckling before leaning in to kiss him.
"So can I call you later?"
"Can I call you my boyfriend?" Nathan asked.
"Of course, just not in front of anyone. When people are watching I'll be your.. Brofriend."
"Oh wow, I love it." Nathan replied smiling.
"I love it too." Marcus said before kissing his nose.
"Good night," Nathan told him as he walked across the street.
"Good night Nath," Marcus replied smiling as he waited till he got inside.
After Nathan closed the front door to his house, Marcus got inside his car. As he drove off, the name of the street sparked something in his memory. It all seemed too familiar.