Awake But Unaware

Chapter 1 : New Girl

As I walk alone in the noisy hallway, I keep my eyes on the ground. I hate looking at people, and I  hate people looking at me. I always feel like I'm being talked about. I don't have friends- at all. Not even associates. I talk to literally no one. It's not that I'm weird or anything, I'm just shy. I'm a small girl, maybe 5'0 or so. People probably would think I'm a freshman, but I'm a junior. "Just keep walking, don't look up. Walk faster. You're almost to your locker", I told myself. I hate to upset people, even the slightest bit. That's part of the reason why I don't talk unless I'm spoken to. I'd hate to upset someone. I guess I don't look  approachable because no one bothers me. Not a hey, not a wave, not a even head nod. My mom always tells me to smile, because I look mad all the time. Smile for what? Hell no. I don't care if I look mean, as long as no one speaks to me. 

As I finally reached my locker, I stacked my extra books inside and sighed of relief from the heavy books no longer hurting my back. Why do these teachers always tell us to bring these books that we never use? I checked my phone to see what time it was. 8:27. I have 3 minutes to get to English class. It's all the way on the other side of school, on the 3rd floor. I better get to walking. I began speed walking and dodging all of the rowdy teenagers in the hallway. They always crowd up in the hallways as if class isn't about to start. They must not care about being tardy. I hate being tardy. 

I reached my English class just as the bell rang. Of course the class was pretty empty, I was the first one there. Every one else was probably in the hallways, talking or exchanging snacks or looking at videos or caking up with their significant others. In other words, nothing important, and certainly not a good reason to be late. When I looked up, I saw three or four students walking in the classroom, but I noticed a different face. She's not usually in here, so maybe she's new. She has pale white skin, and straight dark hair that's pretty long. Her clothing is all black. She's pretty, in a weird way. I usually don't pay much attention to other kids in my class but she stands out.  As I look at her face, I realize she is staring dead at me. She stood there & stared at me as everyone else walked & pushed past her. I quickly looked down and she walks past me slowly, still looking at me, and sits in the back.  

When class started, I couldn't stop thinking about the way she was staring at me. Did  I do something wrong? Did she see me looking at her? Is she mad at me? Oh God, this is exactly why I don't look at people. No one else acknowledged her, and the teacher didn't even mention the fact that we had a new student. I guess she looks like she belongs. As we started taking notes, everyone had out pencil and paper but her. I slowly looked to the side to see if she had a backpack. She didn't. She just had a small black satchel that went across her body. I hurried and looked away before she caught me glancing at her again.

When English class was over, I quickly grabbed my things and left the room just in case the new girl wanted to chew me out. As I got in the hallway, I nearly ran to my next class. Was I scared? Maybe. 

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Once Lunch came around, I got my usual pepperoni pizza slices with tater tots and sat in my usual spot. Alone. I didn't mind being alone. I bent over to set my stuff down and when I looked up I saw her. The new girl. Was she coming for me? She was just standing there, looking. I looked down at my plate & started to eat. I kept looking at my pizza while I was stuffing it in my mouth. "Please don't let her find me, please don't let her find me", I thought to myself.  When I looked up, I nearly choked on my pizza. The new girl was sitting right in front of me! I looked at her with wide eyes, not sure of what to do. What does she want? Is she mad? Does she want to beat me up? I kept chewing and looking at her in fright. I didn't say a word. 

"Hey", she said. I looked around, making sure that she was talking to me. Why is she talking to me? I don't like people talking to me. I don't want to have a conversation with her, what if I say the wrong thing? I just kept chewing. She slammed the table with her hand. "I SAID HEY. I'M TALKING TO YOU". I looked around again to see if anyone was looking. So, she is talking to me. "Um, hi. Why are you talking to me?" I asked. "What do you mean, why am I talking to you?" she said with a chuckle. "No one talks to me." I told her as I ate a tater tot. 

What does she want? I started to ask her that until I heard a group of girls walking behind me laughing. I turned around to see what was funny. They were all looking at me and laughing. What did I do? Did they hear me talking to this girl? I looked back at the girl. "Why are they laughing?" I said with a confused face. She shrugged. "Who knows? This is high school, girls are always laughing." I decided to forget about it. She's right. This girl seems pretty friendly. I can't even believe that someone is talking to me. I asked her what her name was and she asked me what mine was. "Esme." I told her. She said that  I had a pretty name and we sat the rest of lunch in silence.