Forevermore

.14.

I sit in my bed, once again ignoring my surroundings. Every day my bubble of peace has been disturbed by Fitzmorris and Amanda, as they harass me, what of, I do not know. I don't pay attention, I don't listen to their buzzing voices. I only think of Chloe. It's been a week yet the tears still run down my face. I don't understand anything anymore. Everything I knew as right is wrong and everything that was wrong is right. Chloe is everything I thought as right but now I'm not so sure. I've been changed and I don't like it. Did I change myself for the better or was I changed by something else? And was it for the better?

Why am I still alive? Because of her. It was her on the battlefield, it was the hope of getting to see her, it was seeing her. But it wasn't ruining it all. It wasn't telling her. I wish I had never told Chloe, I wish I could take it all back. If I could've told her without breaking down, it all could have been better. It seems like forever since I have seen her, even though it has only been a week.

I fell in love with her. I still love her now. But she never loved me.

I need therapy but I reject everything around me. All the help. No matter how hard they try to get me to talk, I sit silently. They question me, I know it, but they never get answers. I've screamed at them to go away. I've screamed at them to leave me in peace, as tears stream down my face. As my heart aches for her. Nothing is working.

As I continue to ponder everything that has happened to me, I realise one thing has worked. One person has gotten me to speak. Rachel. The nurse who delivered my clothes that unlucky day. She came to me the day after everything went down and just sat in the room quiet. Occasionally watching me, making sure I was okay. She would wipe away my tears. Make sure I would drink water and eat at least something. Rachel did more than anyone else.

Every day she got more comfortable and so did I. She would start talking about the most random things. The gossip floating around the male doctors, like who was trying to get with one called Silas and who they thought Thomas was dating. About how Amanda met this cute guy and wanted to date him. How it had been 19 years since Fitzmorris' son had died. About how lonely Rachel felt. That she wished she could prove her worth to her parents and start dating someone.

Rachel would slowly ask me questions about my life in Bridgmier. After saying a few things about the weather, I told her that my brother's name was Felix before going silent and ignoring everyone for the rest of the day.

And today I wait for her to come again. I look forward to her presence.

"Hey, Luke. How are you today? Are you okay? Hurting anywhere? Need any medication? Need comforting? Need me?" Rachel opens the door, her face slightly pale with a barely visible worried look. She asks these questions concernedly as she comes over and rests her hand on my shoulder. It was comforting to me, the touch of her soft hand.

The genuineness in her voice, the way she caresses me gently. Just Rachel being here listening, waiting, looking after me, just showing that she cares. It awakens something in me every time.